“It didn’t feel like this was about you,” Enzo adds.
And there it is.Enzo voicing something that’s been gnawing away at me makes me believe it.
It’s not you.That’s what Maya always said.
I didn’t mess up.
It was something else.
Something older.
I hear excited chatter behind us.It’s the gang.
“They’re talking about continuing with the party,” Enzo informs me.The chatter grows closer.Dex pokes me lightly in the ribs.
“Good night?”he asks.
I wonder where he’s been all evening.“Yeah.Thanks.A night I’ll never forget.”
He frowns.“What?Come on.It’s your birthday.”He looks around.“Where did Maya go?”
“Said she had to get back.”
“That’s a shame,” says Rio.“Would have been nice to have her come back with us.”
“She left?”Raquel asks.
“I didn’t notice her leaving.What happened?”Dani asks.
“I think it was something to do with her mom,” Cari says, looking at me like she knows it wasn’t that.
Dex announces loudly that we’re all going back to Jett’s penthouse for a private family after-party.Rio lets out an enthusiastic whoop.Matteo looks like he’d rather crawl straight into bed, and Enzo hesitates, caught somewhere between obligation and escape.
“Fine,” Jett says, grimacing.“One drink.”
“One drink, Jett?”Cari cries, rolling her eyes.“For the love of God, let your brother have a proper after-party.”
Rio laughs and claps Jett on the shoulder.“See?Even Cari thinks you’re killing the vibe.”
“I am not killing anything,” Jett mutters.
Plans are made anyway.Cars are called.Voices overlap.No one notices how quiet I’ve gone, or that the night is already over for me.They think this is just the natural end of a party.They have no idea something else has already ended.I look around instinctively and my gaze catches my father across the deck.He stands apart, talking to someone I don’t recognize, but his eyes are on us.
“I’ll see Dad home,” I offer.
A wail of cries answers back.“It’s your party, dude,” Rio says.
Dex looks aghast.“Yeah, no one should have to do that, least of all when it’s your celebration.”
“I’ll see him home, and then I’ll come over,” I insist.My mood is low, and I’m not motivated to do anything.I just want to see how Maya is but something tells me to give her the space she obviously needs.
Maybe I will turn up at Jett’s apartment before I go home.“I’ll see you later,” I say to my brothers, and head towards my father.
“I’ll see you home,” I tell him.I didn’t see him speak to any of my brothers all night, and the fact that they’ve all left and gone on to an after-party he clearly isn’t invited to stirs up the old, familiar mix of obligation, resentment, and guilt I’ve never quite managed to shake.
He smiles faintly.“You don’t have to.”
“I know, but you came, so …” It’s the least I can do.
