“If the boy read in a newspaper about a history professor in a prestigious Delhi college, a successful author who is gay, someone like him, he would have hope.He would keep a fire burning in his heart.A flame to help the boy go on while he struggled to find his next meal.When he slept on the roadside without a roof over his head...”Jimmy sobs, covers his face with his hands, and stumbles onto the bed.“What part of you should I believe?What part of us should I trust?”
“Jimmy, please, give me one chance to explain.”I fall to my knees and tap his thigh, hoping he will face me.
But he moves his legs away and shakes his head.“You want one chance.Why?I gave you everything: my life, my friends.”He thumps his chest with his fist.“I have nothing more to give.This is empty.You tore away what was in here and crushed me.You destroyed me, Aditya.You destroyed us.”
Chapter 26
The price of my actions
ADITYA
Destroyed us.Destroyed us.Destroyed us.The words echo in a loop inside my throbbing head as I walk away from Jimmy's cabin, bearing the coffin of my shredded soul.Alone.I feel numb, defeated.The draught of the freezing December wind rattles my bones.Which wounds hurt more, and which ones will never heal: losing Jimmy's trust or his love?
“Bawaari Poonch, chup reh.Marwayega ke.”
Two men in black puffer jackets in their twenties argue as they walk down the trail from the resort, new year revellers or tourists.I ignore them and trudge towards the resort's gate.However, the Haryanavi slur about a stupid buffalo tail and the taller one admonishing the other to shut his mouth does not sit well with me.
A slow wrenching ache takes root inside my chest.Why would tourists be on this path?The unease turns to dread as a loud crack of breaking furniture comes from the direction of Jimmy's cottage.I turn back to investigate.As I get closer, the exchange of Haryanvi curse words forces me to rush.
Before I reach Jimmy's cottage, the stench of kerosene hits my nose.Shit.The pungent odour becomes stronger with each step.I break into a run, stumbling and swinging on tree trunks to navigate the tree-lined path.When I take the final bend, I see the two men grappling with Jimmy, trying to push him inside the cottage.
“What the hell are you doing?”My shout breaks the three.
“Run!Addy, run!”Jimmy's panicked voice echoes in the hills.I pay no heed to his warning.My eyes are stuck on the blood streaming down from his head.
“Catch him.He must be his friend.”The taller guy directs his fellow assailant.The man lets go of his hold on Jimmy, but Jimmy lunges at him before the black jacket moves towards me.The three wrestle one another.
I survey the area to find something to use as a weapon.A fallen, thick tree branch catches my eye.I pick up the log, rush to the fighting men, and swing the wood at the black jacket who is now rushing toward me.The branch slams into his neck.The man stumbles, howling, and clutching his face.
The second man pushes Jimmy off, but Jimmy wrestles him to the ground.
The first man is bent, writhing in pain.I hit him again — this time on his back.He collapses, clutching his waist, hands soaked in blood.
The crack of a bone snapping draws my attention to the second man.He stumbles and tries to run, but Jimmy grabs his legs and tackles him to the ground.Before Jimmy can disable him, the man pulls something out of his pocket.A glint of black metal catches my eye.
“No!”My scream echoes through the valley, sending the birds screeching in the sky.I watch in horror as Jimmy covers the man's hand with his body.A loud bang ensues.My feet are frozen, and no sound comes out of my open mouth, but my whole body shakes with horror.
