Jimmy cringes, but surprises me with his reaction.“Don't embarrass him, Heer.Addy is my shy lover.”He holds my head in his hands and pulls my face to lock our lips.
Hoots go off.Chants of ‘Hot, hot, hot’ start.Someone whistles, and claps erupt around us.I startle and push Jimmy to find people with mobile phones directed at us.A cameraman is filming the scene we made in front of the crowd.My chest tightens, breathing becomes difficult, and sweat trickles down my temples.The scarf feels like a noose.The faces of strangers swirl and blur.Nauseated, I stumble in the crowd.A hand grips my elbow, and a familiar voice calls, but I snap my hand away and run.Jimmy's voice fades as the distance increases.
***
JIMMY
What happened?I runafter Aditya, keeping track of the bobbing head amidst the crowd, till a group of dancers blocks my way.The loud drums and singing drown my hollers to him.By the time I manage to manoeuvre past the drag queens, Aditya is gone.I run through the crowd, searching for a glimpse of his whereabouts.Shit, man.Where the hell did he go?
Confused and worried, I make my way to the sidewalk and dial Aditya's number.Come on, please pick up the call.Three more calls go unanswered.Did Heer spook him, or was it our kiss?But Aditya and I have kissed so many times.Not in public.Don’t forget Aditya still has a foot in the closet.A few months cannot undo years of fear.I should check at his apartment.I shoot him a quick text and walk to the Metro station.My mobile buzzes, and I fumble to take the phone out of my pocket.Urgh.Not now.I swipe to take Priya's call.
“Jimmy, where are you?”
Dammit, I forgot.What should I do?Go after Aditya, or meet Priya?Her words force the decision for me.
“Jimmy, we have a client waiting for you.Please be on time.”She disconnects, leaving me with no option.But my mind will not be at peace till I confirm Aditya is safe.I search my contacts to dial Jatin's number.He picks after two rings.
“Hi, I am Jimmy.Aditya's friend.”
“Hey, nice to finally speak to you.”
Not bothering with idle chit-chat, I go straight to my concern.“Jatin, I am calling about Aditya.We were at the Delhi Pride parade.Something spooked him, and he panicked.I tried to follow him when he ran, but lost him in the crowd.Now he is not answering my phone or messages.”
“Oh, umm.Let me see if I can reach him.I will ask him to contact you.Don't worry.Aditya has lived in Delhi all his life.He won't lose his way.”
“Thanks.I am heading to a meeting with my agent.If I don't pick up, leave a message.I should be free in an hour.I will check my phone once I am done.”
Jatin’s assurance is a relief.At least he will trace Aditya while I am busy.Priya greets me at the agency reception.Her frown disappears at my sight.“What happened?You look hassled.”
I narrate the events of the past hour to her.Though she reassures me about Aditya, the furrows on her forehead indicate she is not convinced herself.“Let us finish this meeting.If you still have no word about your friend, I will drive you to his apartment and check.You have his address, don’t you?”
Priya walks me to the boardroom, where a lady dressed in beige business attire is waiting for us.
“Jimmy, meet Ms Natasha.”After the introductions, we get down to business.My heart starts pounding as Priya informs me about the offer.Natasha represents a marketing agency working for an upcoming men's hair and beard grooming firm.The company wants me to be the face of their new line of products.
My body starts humming as Natasha explains her vision for the shoot.Three ads would be filmed at different locations in Delhi.Priya talks about the money involved, sending my eyes out of my sockets.A whole year's worth of my gym salary.Things are about to take a definite upturn in my life.
This is exciting news, but the first person I want to share this with is missing.The concerns about Aditya's whereabouts sober the joy of landing a TV commercial.God, please let him be safe.
“Can I go over the agreement and get back?Today has been hectic, and I need to rest.”
Priya and Natasha agree to my request to end the meeting.I rush out and check my phone for messages.Ah, thank God.Jatin's text is a balm to my bristling emotions.Aditya is safe.But the next text is from him.The words gnaw at my heart.
Sorry.I had to rush.Something came up in Almora.See you on your return.The apartment keys are with you.
Am I only worth a text to him?No explanation.No call.What matter is so critical?Why did Aditya not wait?
“Everything okay.Has your friend contacted you?”Priya steps beside me.
“Hmm, yeah.Thanks for doing all this for me.”I wave the advertising contract at Priya.
“This is my job, Jimmy.Stay with us, and more success will follow.We will talk once you settle things with your friend.”She pats my back and goes to her office.
Friend, boyfriend, acquaintance, or a nobody — who am I to Aditya?His unease at public displays of affection had started an itch in me today.Okay, at the book launch, I can understand.There were media people with cameras.One court verdict does not change deep-seated social or cultural prejudices.But at the Pride?We were amongst our own.If Aditya can't free himself amongst our people, how will we build a future together?I have sacrificed every relationship to be where I am; nothing will push me back into the dark emptiness of the closet.
“Uff.Aah.”The groan startles me.An older man rubs his shoulder as I step onto the street outside Priya's office.
“Oh, sorry, Uncle ji.I missed my step.”
