He is leaning over the railing, staring at the rain sweeping across the freshly washed, lush green deodars.I stand beside him and place my hand on his.
“Jimmy, I am sorry.I crossed a line.”He does not respond.“Sometimes, I get carried away in my zeal to help people without realising how disrespectful such offers can be.”Even if I mean nothing to them, my inner voice adds in the confines of my head.
Jimmy turns and faces me.His eyes are wet.I tuck a strand of his hair behind his ears to allow me a clear view of the windows to his thoughts.Two forlorn eyes spear through me.“I am sorry I hurt you.”
Jimmy shakes his head and gathers me in his arms, “Addy, I—” He takes a deep breath.“Please forgive me, but I value my self-respect.I appreciate all you are doing for me, but if we are to make something for ourselves, we have to do this relationship on an equal footing.”
I burrow my head on his shoulder, “Jimmy, I am sorry.”
He caresses my head, running his fingers through my hair.“I understand my finances are not worth anywhere near yours, but I will never borrow money from you or anyone else.I am determined to make a life for myself.”
I dig my hands into Jimmy's back, scared of the implications of his words.The world I am trying to build with him rests on the shaky ground of my lies.One more foundation stone tumbles away.Jimmy is slipping through my fingers like the grains of sand on a beach.The thousand rupees’ cheque in his name from the NGO for Jimmy's physical education classes prickles in my shirt pocket.I had planned to give him the envelope today, once the gang left.
I must confess.At least with this, I can be truthful.“Jimmy, I did a thing.”I keep my voice low, hoping he won’t panic.
He pulls away and gazes at me, holding my shoulders.“What did you do?”
My hands tremble as I dig out the envelope and hand the paper to Jimmy.“This cheque is for the classes you are taking for the kids at the school.They want you to continue for two more months.The amount is not much for your services, but we are dependent on donations to run our operations.”
He stares at the cheque.I take a step back, afraid of his reaction.He surprises me by pulling me into his arms and kissing me before joining our foreheads.“Why?Why are you doing this for me?Who are you, and where did you come from?Did God send me an angel?”
Nope.Not a smidgen of angel dust inside me.I am the devil luring an upright, conscientious man into a life of sin.I am sure with the right mirror, one will find a red-skinned devil with black horns in my place.Once they find out, the kindling of lies I am gathering around me will burn my world to ashes.I doubt if anything or anyone will survive.But till the calamity is at my door, I will cherish every second I get in Jimmy's arms, embedding him into my memory cells.
Chapter 17
Make me yours
JIMMY
Wow.I can't believe this.Is this me in the photo?
“What are you ogling on your phone with those saucer-like eyes?”Sahil stands and peers over my shoulder.
“Wah, bhai.This is fantastic.Is this from the shoot two weeks ago?”Sahil takes the phone from my hand and zooms in on the snap.“Damn, you look like a movie star.”
“Shut up.Anyone can look like a movie star after photo editing.”I snatch my phone and shove it in my pocket.“Get to work.You are on gym cleaning duty today.Better tidy up for the morning.”
