“You are joking, right?”
This is terrible.Under normal circumstances, as an author, I would be dancing at the news.
“No, Aditya.The team wants to move things ahead.Our launch date is on the day of the Delhi Pride Parade.The venue is already booked at the 'Simply Read' bookstore in Rajiv Chowk.”
Priya's words make me nauseous.Each item on her list brings a new wave.She canters on about book readings and author talks at the parade.
I squeeze the armrest to steady myself.What am I going to do?
“Priya, I haven't even started looking yet.How am I supposed to find someone in a month?”
“Can't help you on this.I can only hold off till the edits are completed.You still have about two months.”Priya’s words are the least reassuring.
“How am I supposed to find and train the person?He should be thorough with the backstory and the novel.What about the legalities and all the paperwork?
“I still insist.You should be the face at the front.Why are you making things difficult for all of us?How are you supposed to find someone fitting our requirements in the godforsaken village where you hide?”
My move out of Delhi is one of Priya’s pet peeves.Why does everyone deride the idea of living a peaceful life on a mountaintop?“Stop calling the place godforsaken.Almora is not a village.At least, not anymore.The city came up in 1887 around a British-era cottage.The Kasar Devi temple nearby is a historical monument dating back to the 5th and 6th centuries AD.”I dispute her opinion of my new home.
“Okay, sorry.Who can win against you in history?Aditya, find someone by this month so we can prepare him.I will call you in two weeks.Bye.”Priya disconnects, leaving the sword hanging over my head.
Who?How?I haven't even told Jatin about the book deal.I cannot draw attention to myself.Shalini and Jatin are the only ones who are privy to the real reason for the divorce.Shalini's family is unaware.They will be after my blood if they get a whiff of the real reason we broke up.Section 377 is a tool they can easily use against me.The house becomes stifling.I should go for a walk.And think.
***
“What do you suggest?”
I plead with Sir Wilfred, rechecking my surroundings.Of course, I don't expect anyone to roam around in this remote park at six-thirty in the evening, but I want to be sure.
Priya is relentless.Message after message, a call every other day for the past week.The noose is tightening and will soon force my hand.
“We can go to a modelling agency, but many people would get involved.The more people are on this, the greater the chance someone will out me.I can't break my promise to Shalini.”The words are not written in any legal agreement, but I will not come out to the world till she is settled and her family has calmed down.She will make sure her father and brothers back off on their monetary demands and endless chase to find my cheating ways.They are looking to make a quick buck by finding traces of my adultery and reopening the divorce case.
Sir Wilfred does not blink.Stone-faced and disinterested as ever, he has no opinion to offer on the two names I have shortlisted.Ravi, my cousin, is a challenging choice.He works in Australia.Ten years younger than me, he has lived as his true gay self for the past three years.He, however, is the proverbial nerd scientist and has no interest in anything beyond his microbiology lab.
“My requirements are simple.”I reopen the crumpled paper in my hand and stare.
•A gay or bi man
•Fluent in English and Hindi
•Not afraid of the stage or cameras
•Quick-witted
I smile at the stupid list I made during my return journey from Priya's office a month ago.In consultation with Sir Wilfred, I already crossed out well-read, humble, thoughtful, and good-looking.Until Sir Wilfred's intervention, the list read like a matrimonial ad.The shortened version does not solve my big dilemma either.
The only other gay man in my world who is close to me has planted a seed of yearning and hope in my heart.How do I involve him?Will he agree?What if the seed becomes a tree, blooming a vibrant red of love and becoming theBuranshflowers of my life?Won't the weeds of my lie poison the soil?
