Chapter 1
The fault in my stars.
ADITYA
“Dammit, Priya.Why won’t you listen to me?Rephrasing the same question will not change my answer.”I slam my fist on her desk, the frustration with this back and forth boiling over.
She flinches and steps back.I squirm, watching her clutch the papers close to her chest.Damn my inner monsters.I have no right to unleash them on her.Ashamed of my actions, I bury my face in my hands.
“Priya, I am so sorry.”I blurt out a pathetic apology.
“Why can’t you understand?How do you expect me to be a part of this...this con act?”She counters.
When I am done rubbing my eyes, I find her glaring at me.“No.Look.”I raise my hands, palms facing her.“All I am asking for is a little grey so that someone's life has a chance to find colours.”I plead, choking at the thought of how I have blackened Shalini’s life.
“What you are asking is a ridiculous stunt.”She shakes her head, dismayed at my words.
“Why?Don’t People use ghost writers?”The desperation seeps out in my voice.
“You are being ridiculous.Ghost writing is different from what you're trying to pull off.”
“How?People hire experts to write for them and seldom acknowledge the real writers.The industry accepts them.Why not me?All I am asking is to flip the roles.Think beyond the paradigm.”
“Gah.Be reasonable.Your novel is a matchstick away from blowing people’s minds.Book bloggers will clamour for your interviews.What about all the book signings?The world would want to put a face to your writing.A real face.”She pauses for a bit.“Aditya, you may be the next Anish.”
“Are you nuts?”I pinch the bridge of my nose.We won't make any headway if we keep sparring.I glance at my mobile.Shit!It is already 1pm.My train leaves at four, giving me only fifteen more minutes to sort this out before my lunch meeting.I take a deep breath, adjust my glasses, and smile.Yes, stubborn people have been known to wilt under my charm.“Is this how your marketing team wants to play?”
I sweep my hand across my reasonable five-foot-nine-inch stocky frame.“Where do you see the resemblance?”Anish is a lithe giant, and his boyish face with thick, wavy hair would turn heads even without fame.I wear thick-rimmed glasses and struggle to rein in my tummy in my pants.Priya waves me off and settles on her chair across from me.
I ignore her eye roll.“And he writes deep, well-researched genre-bending mythological science fiction.My book is a contemporary romance.”
“The genre may differ, but your narration is intriguing, eloquent, and immerses the reader.And you, of all people, should not slap labels on your work.”She dares me to counter her with a glare.
It’s now my turn for an eye roll.She leaves me no choice.I must give her a glimpse of my worries.
“I have taken my first step out of the closet.Only you, Shalini, and Jatin are aware.”
And Col.Wilfred, but he doesn't talk, so there is no risk of tattling to the media from him.
“Heck, even I did not accept my attraction to men till a few years ago.”I turn and gaze out of the glass facade.Priya's office in the outer circle of Rajiv Chowk has a great view.From a floor above the canopies of trees, the orange contrast of Gulmohar's in full bloom adds a vibrant hue to the greens.
“I can't come out to the world.Shalini has only begun to recover from our divorce.I can't thrust this on her and cause her more hurt than I already have.She needs time to rebuild.We both need space to sort our lives.Announcing my sexuality to the world will ruin everything.”And break my promise to her.
“What do you want to do?”Priya's voice softens.“I am your agent and will always support you.But at least give my suggestion a thought.”
I ignore her plea.“Like I said.This is only a reversal of the ghost-writing model.We use a proxy.I am, as it is, writing under a pen name.We pay a part of my royalty to someone the media would eat up.A smart guy with a decent mug who is already out and proud.We contract them to market the book.”
“You are ridiculous.How do you plan to pull off this con act?”Priya huffs and shoos me off with a wild wave of her hand.
I cringe at Priya’s use of the phrase.Should all deceptions be clubbed under one bracket and dumped in the waste bins of sin?Is there no room for lying for a worthy cause?Yudhistra lied in the Mahabharata.Once.His distortion of facts brought Dronacharya down and paved the way for the defeat of the evil Kauravas.What I suggest will not cause a war or harm any human.I am buying time for Shalini, giving her the space to stand on her feet.
“Consider this for a moment: a whole trope of fake relationships exists in novels and films.We can sign a non-disclosure and a legal contract.Once I am comfortable with my sexuality, we can clear things.”
I study Priya's face.The manicured index finger tapping on her chin raises my hope.She is hovering on the fence, so I add a layer of icing, “And when we reveal my identity, the book may find a second wind.The world loves a scandal.”
“Where will we find such a person?”She rests her hands on the table.
Ah, the break I needed.Priya is on board.“How much time do we have?”
