It didn’t take long before she started feeling a warm glow inside as the food went down, accompanied by some fuzzy feelings. She even caught herself smiling at Alex.
He must have been feeling the same.
“Raya, can I ask you something?”
“Alex, let’s just eat, okay? Whatever you’re going to say is probably going to spoil my appetite, and right now, I’m enjoying my food too much,” Raya said, looking mournfully at her cheese-and-peanut-butter cracker. Time was so short, the last thing she wanted to do was waste it talking to Alex.
“The thing is…I need to ask you something while Ana’s not around.”
Raya’s interest was mildly piqued. She nodded shortly and stuffed the whole cracker in her mouth, sitting back, arms folded defensively across her chest.
“I’ve been thinking. I know you still love Ana, even though you broke up. She’s your best friend and all.” He glanced up at her as though hoping for a sign of acknowledgment.
Raya didn’t move. He could think what he liked.
“Well, the thing is…so do I.” Alex glanced nervously at Raya. “I really do. For a long time now. You know, Danny was my best friend, but Ana was always more. To me.”
Raya looked at him and archly raised an eyebrow. This wasn’t news. Before the fire, Ana had always had a little shadow. Alex: irritatingly ever-present, sending loving glances, ready to jump up and help at a moment’s notice.
The only mystery was how Ana hadn’t noticed that her twin brother’s ever-present bestie was crushing on her—hard.
“Where are we going with this, Alex?” Raya worked to keep her tone neutral, even though he had her full attention.
Alex’s expression darkened. He put a box of Cheerios down and brushed crumbs off his jeans thoughtfully.
“I want Ana to live.”
“Duh. So do I,” Raya said, watching him closely, trying to figure out what he would say next.
“I mean…whateverit takes.” Alex’s voice was quiet.
Raya was taken aback. It wasn’t what she’d been expecting. His words were plain, but his message was loaded with subtext.
She looked at Alex, but his hair was in front of his face, hiding his eyes. His arms were tan and toned, resting lightly on his jeans, his hands knotted together as he struggled to find his words.
“It’s just, none of this makes sense—Danny’s death, the fire, this place. None of it means anything if there’s nothing to hope for. If Ana makes it, then there’s a kind of justice in the world. An order. I want her to live and live well. To get out of here, to find love, have a family…grow old. I want her to get over Danny and whatever happens here today to prove that this whole mess isn’t all there is left.”
Alex glanced up. For the first time, Raya felt the force of something behind the soft brown eyes. There was more there, a depth she hadn’t seen before; love and strength of character intermingled in equal measure.
So, this was Ana’s Alex, the person hiding behind the floppy hair. It felt like they were meeting for the first time. This was the person who had stolen Ana’s heart away from her.
It was starting to make sense.
“Just say it, Alex.”
“If…when it comes to it, I’m okay going. You know? I’ll do it. I’ll cross the line if it means that she has a chance. I just want…I need to believe she can make it. I need something to hold on to. Something to hope for. I thought you might feel the same way too?”
Raya was surprised to feel a dampness on her cheek. She reached up and quickly brushed it away.
“Yeah, all right. No need to be dramatic,” she said brusquely. “So, what are we talking about here? Making a secret pact or some shit? When it comes down to it, we make dang sure Ana is the last one standing?”
Alex looked up. Her bluntness had cut through his thoughts.
“I’m sorry.” He looked genuinely mortified. Spelled out like that, the reality of what he’d just asked hung heavily in the dusty air. “I barely know you… I should never have said that. It’s not right… I don’t even know what I was thinking.”
“Nah, it’s okay. We’re good. If you can’t be honest when you’re about to die, when can you?”
Alex nodded, his expression sober. They faced each other, no pretense, nothing hidden. Raya didn’t warm to people easily, but once you’d got into her heart, she was loyal for life. In this case, that might only be an hour or two. But for that short time, Alex made the cut.
