I huff out a breath. Fucking women.
“Jesus fuck, fine. But sit down and get away from the window.” I settle in the middle of the couch and wince when a broken spring jabs my ass through the cushion. “No offense, princess, but your couch sucks.”
She’s silent, perching on the edge of the couch. I can’t tell if she’s embarrassed that I caught her jerking off, embarrassed about her shitty furniture, or upset I yelled at her. I’ve never understood women, but it’s not hard to tell when they’re unhappy. I exhale hard, searching for something to say that’ll erase that look from her face.
“So. You’re Siena’s cousin. You hang out with her a lot growing up?”
She lifts her gaze to meet mine. “When I was little, yes. I’m the same age as her sister, Emily. Or I was. She was.” She shakes her head, flustered. “Now that she’s gone, I don’t know how to say it.”
She glances away, and the truth hangs heavy in the air between us: Siena’s sister, Emily, was killed in a plane crash last year. A crash caused by one of my father’s men.
“But when I was 12, Siena’s father was killed, and everything changed after that.” Her voice is small, careful.
That was also my father, Aurelio. He killed Siena’s father 20 years ago, the same day he took out his own father and grandfather to secure his position as head of the Demonio family and bury the Bellamortes for good.
I won’t apologize for him. Those sins sit on a long list of transgressions that he will pay for when I take him out and step into the big seat as soon as I fucking find him.
“What changed when her father…died?”
Sophie meets my gaze, leaning back into the cushions and pulling the blanket up to her chest. “My father wouldn’t let me hang out with them anymore. He’s Siena’s father’s brother, a Bellamorte, and Aurelio was gunning for him too. To save his life and the lives of me and my mother, my father promised Aurelio he’d have no more contact with anyone associated with the Bellamortes, including his dead brother’s family. That meant I couldn’t see Siena anymore.”
I snort. Fucking weak. “And he kept that promise?”
Aurelio would definitely see a promise to a woman as weakness. To be honest, I do, too. Your brothers in the life always come first. Always.
Sophie nods gravely. “To a fault. My father is a man of his word.”
“My father is a dick. The way he tells it, your father was one of his best friends and slated to be underboss but was too weak to keep around or bother killing. I’m surprised he let him out of the family. This isn’t exactly a job you retire from.”
She nods, shifting closer. “I know. My mother was surprised too. She didn’t believe it at first, but I saw it with my own eyes. My father has never wavered. His family comes first, and the only way my mother would marry him is if he swore off mafia life forever. For her, he would do anything.”
I study her. There’s more to her than I originally thought. She comes off as quiet, sweet, unassuming. But if she witnessed my father in action when she was that young, she’s stronger than she appears. Has to be.
“Your mother must be an amazing woman for him to give up his whole life for her.”
Sophie’s face transforms when she smiles. “My mother is amazing. But so is my father. I love them both so much. My mother could never have any more children after me, so we are very close.”
Staring at her, the look on her face when she talks about her family, jealousy creeps in. My family life could not be more different.
As if she reads my thoughts, she asks, “What about you? Were you close with your mother before she…passed?”
What’s she’s not saying: my father killed my mother too. No one saw it happen, no one can prove it, and of course he’s always denied it. But I saw him beat her when I was growing up, and one day she disappeared. The math isn’t hard.
“She was the first reason I vowed to destroy my father.”
Sophie shifts in her seat, pulling her knees up, her shins against my side. When she pulls the blanket over her legs, she covers my lap as well so that we’re sharing the warmth. I shoot her a sharp look, but she’s not trying to flirt or cuddle. I’m not sure how to process this: she’s just being nice.
I turn toward her so her legs are no longer touching me, so that none of her is touching me, but let the blanket stay across my lap.
“So you were close to her?” Sophie asks.
“No,” I snap, my voice too loud. I expect her to flinch, to withdraw, but she doesn’t. She’s calm, listening, and it’s fucking unnerving. “Tommy was her favorite. He was a weird kid, and my mother and I always protected him. She protected him athome from Aurelio. I protected him out in the world until he learned to fend for himself.”
“Who protected you?”
It’s a simple enough question, but it shoots tension down my spine. I laugh harshly. “My mother, early on, maybe, even though she and I were never as close as she was with Tommy.” I pause, thinking back, not something I often do. “I stayed out of the house as much as I could. Me and Matti went everywhere together. But when I was at home, I was usually in the kitchen with Lucia.”
“Lucia?”
