“No,” I say, sharper than I mean to. I take a breath and lower my voice. “That’s not what I mean. I mean…it’s like my whole life has been run by someone else. My father. Aurelio. You. Antonio.”
Tommy bristles, sneering. “Antonio? He’s too fucking weak to have any impact on your life. If anyone has been controlled by Aurelio and your father, it’s him. Not you, baby.”
I laugh once, short and bitter. “Well, I let him manipulate me into a relationship I didn’t want for years, then he raped me repeatedly, and now I have to deal with the repercussions of his choices, so.”
Tommy clenches his jaw and shakes his head. He opens his mouth to speak, but I stop him.
“My point isn’t who did what to me or when. I’m saying that the person in charge of my life has never been me, and look where it got me. Maybe if I’d just…done something for myself, none of this shit would have happened.”
Tommy sits on the arm of the couch. “There wasn’t much you could’ve done to stop them,” he says quietly. “Not those men. Not me either, back then. The only way you could have avoided everything that happened would’ve been to stay away from me.”
I look up at him sharply. “You were the best decision I ever made,” I say. “That’s not what I mean, Tommy. I just—” I press my hand to my chest, searching for the right words. “I just needto feel like I’m the one actually controlling my life. I need to start making choices for myself. But I don’t know how to start.”
Tommy studies my face, and I ache under his gaze. He views me as fragile, something that can be broken, a thing to protect, and I hate it. I want to be his partner. I want to feel strong again.
“I might know something that could help,” he says, voice low.
I blink, wary but curious. “What?”
He takes my hand, tracing his thumb along my wrist, and my heart rate picks up.
“It won’t fix everything. It won’t undo the past. But it does give you control over something that you deserve to have control over. You trust me?”
My breath catches, but I nod. “Always.”
“Then let me show you,” he murmurs. “Remember, you always have the power to say ‘no.’”
The rain starts outside, light against the windowpane, steady like a heartbeat. I stand, ready to move, to take action. To take control.
32
Tommy
The storm outside hasn’t let up, thunder rolling low across the horizon, lightning flashing across the sky. But down here, in the bowels of the Edge, it’s like the outside world doesn’t exist.
My entire world right now is every breath that passes through Giovanna, every change on her face, every twitch. Her fists are clenched, her hazel eyes on fire.
And her entire focus is on Antonio.
Antonio is standing against the back wall of the bare concrete cell, arms spread wide and chained to the wall. He’s gaunt, dark circles under his eyes. He’s been here for weeks, waiting for this moment.
I stand back, arms crossed over my chest, scowling at him, ready to break his fucking neck at her say so.
She paces in front of him, the soles of her boots scuffing against the floor, echoing off the walls.
“How long did you know?” she asks. Her voice sounds calm, much calmer than I expected. It’s the kind of calm I’ve only seen on her when her rage flows too deep to show.
Antonio watches her, his eyes curious but flat. “How long did I know what, Gigi?”
She stops pacing. “That Aurelio was going to take me.”
He laughs once, hoarse. “I know you want to believe that I was some mastermind in this, but I didn’t know until you were gone.”
I flick open my knife. “Tell the fucking truth.”
Antonio glares at me. “I have no fucking reason to lie.”
Giovanna sneers at him then turns to me. “How many days was I gone, babe?”
