The look on her face, the way she grinds her pussy against my cock—it shakes me back to reality.
I grip her shoulders tightly and push her up, force myself to take a deep breath. This can’t happen. Not like this. Not now when I’m wound so tight I know I would destroy her pussy. That’s the last thing she needs after what she’s been through.
“Gi,” I say quietly, trying to steady my voice.
Her lips part in a shaky breath. Confusion, then embarrassment, floods her face, and she drops her gaze. She looks so small, so unsure. A tear slips down her cheek.
“Hey,” I whisper, reaching for her. “Don’t cry, baby.”
I pull her in and hold her tight, her forehead pressing against my chest. I can feel her shaking, feel my own heartbeat hammering too hard.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, her voice muffled.
“Don’t apologize,” I tell her softly. “I owe you the apology. I never should have left you alone at the church. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, making sure no one ever harms you again.”
“No, I’m not crying because I’m upset about…what happened. I’m crying because—”
She searches my eyes, then cups my face with both hands and slams her mouth onto mine. It’s not gentle or tentative. Her kiss is as desperate as I feel as she digs her nails into me and arches her back, grinding her pussy against me.
I grab her shoulders and force her to stay still. She complies, shaking, breathing fast.
“Gi, stop.”
She freezes. Shame flashes across her face before she hides it. “You don’t want me,” she says quietly, voice cracking.
“What?” The idea shocks the shit out of me. How could she possibly think that? “Of course I want you. I want you too much. Baby, look at me.”
She doesn’t, so I tilt her chin and put myself in her line of sight. “You have no idea what you do to me. But you were hurt, and I—” My throat feels tight. “I’m scared I’ll hurt you more. I don’t trust myself not to lose control. I don’t know how to be gentle with you. I’ve never known how.”
Her eyes flash with anger. “Do you think that is news to me? That I don’t know what I’m asking for? Why is it your call?” she snaps. “I’ve been sleeping for days. Eating. Getting stronger. Now I want you, Tommy. Ineedmy man.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Gi. Not yet.”
Her hands ball into fists in the sheets. “It’s my body, Tommy. If you’re my man, then fuck me.”
“Giovanna,” I warn. She’s baiting me the way she always does when she’s asking for a punishment. But I saw those videos. Antonio wasn’t gentle with her, and it would fucking kill me if having me inside her triggered memories of what he did.
She sits up, eyes blazing. “No. Fuck you. I’m so sick of men deciding my life for me. Who my partner is, where I work, what I do or don’t do withmybody. Aurelio. Antonio. My father. And now you.” Her voice breaks, but she doesn’t stop. “When do I get to fucking make my own choices?”
Her words hit like a bullet. I lay there, jaw clenched, every muscle in my body locked between wanting to push her ankles up by her ears and fuck her until she screams and wanting to punch something.
My phone buzzes on the nightstand, and I glance at it. A text from Vin. I’m supposed to meet him this morning.
“I’m not trying to control you, Giovanna.” She gives me a look, and I huff out a breath. “Not anymore than usual,” I concede. I rub my hands up and down her arms. “I’m trying to take care of you. It’s my fault that you were taken, and I’m responsible for everything that happened to you after that. If I were to do anything to trigger memories of—”
She smacks my chest. “How can you trigger memories when I have no memory of what happened? Are you just never going to fuck me again? Admit it, Tommy. This isn’t about anything but the fact that you’re not interested in fucking me after what he did.”
My jaw drops, and I can’t speak for a moment. Her chest is heaving in ragged breaths, and her eyes brim with tears that she wipes away before they can fall. She half sobs and starts to climb off of me, but I grip her arms tighter and roll her onto her back on the bed so that I’m on top of her.
“Listen to me. Not one fucking word of what you just said is true. I want you. I want you so much I’m afraid of hurting you. But I’m trying not to rush things. Baby, I’m trying to take care of you.”
She glares up at me. “What happened the last time you kept ‘trying to take care of me’ by doing things I didn’t want you to do?”
I freeze and glare back at her. “Giovanna, are you threatening to break up with me if I don’t fuck you?”
Her face contorts, and she turns away, crying. “I just want things to be normal with us. For fucking once! Except for the first six months of our relationship, we’ve never been able to just be together and be happy. Now things are finally changing and we’re choosing each other, but you still won’t fucking be with me!”
“Be with you as in—”
