“The guy spanking him was actually shaking in fear,” Eli told her.
She bet.
“I’d have paid good money to see that,” she murmured.
“Brat,” Kellan said. But there was something hot in his eyes that said he didn’t mind a bit of sass.
“We want to take care of you, not hurt you,” Eli told her. “We can go at your pace when it comes to our relationship, but we also can’t stand the idea of someone else having responsibility for you.”
“You’re ours,” Kellan said.
Eli shot him a look, then stared back at her. He seemed to be bracing himself for her response.
Probably worried that they were scaring her away.
She knew she was a bit of a flight risk. She’d pushed them away once before. It was terrifying. She could take a leap and fall.
Or she could fly.
And she so wanted to fly.
“I want to come first with someone. All I’ve ever wanted is to be loved. To feel important and not like a tool to be used. And it’s not that I think you guys will use me. I just . . . I just . . .”
Everything was building inside her and she couldn’t get her words out. It was so frustrating!
“Yell,” Kellan said suddenly.
“What?”
“You need to yell. You’re like me in a lot of ways. You keep things close to your chest, locked in. You should let it out.”
“Our father picked on Kellan,” Eli said. “Everything was always his fault. He’d call him names, he’d beat him as punishment for things he hadn’t even done. And Kellan would always just take it. If one of our older brothers was home, they’d stick up for him. But if it was the younger ones . . . Kellan would take it so we never had to.”
“Oh, Kellan,” she whispered. She’d known it was going to be bad.
She hadn’t realized how bad, though.
And here she was complaining over her life. At least her father had never beaten her.
“I always had trouble expressing myself. Showing emotion. And it seemed he liked to take that as a challenge,” Kellan told her. “He wanted a reaction and yet the more he beat me, the more I held everything inside.”
“It was just a vicious cycle that went on and on,” Eli said with frustration.
“Why did no one do anything? Why did no one help you?” she asked.
“The sheriff back then wasn’t a good guy like Jake,” Eli told her. “He was an old hunting and fishing buddy of our father’s. We knew he’d just turn it back on us. Tell us that we needed a good whipping to be kept under control.”
“That’s terrible,” she said.
“It’s why I hate this place,” Kellan told her. “They claim that this town is safe and that they take care of the people in it . . . but we all slipped through the cracks.”
“In fairness, we learned early on to hide what was going on because we didn’t want anyone to find out,” Eli said. “We thought we’d all be separated.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” Kellan said.
“Some people might have helped us,” Eli said, looking at Kellan. “But we just thought we were better off together with the devil we knew.”
“Things are a lot better now with Jake as the sheriff,” Eli said. “He’s a good man. A decent man. But that doesn’t mean that he should be your guardian. He has a lot of people to take care of and you need more care and attention than he can give. Plus, you deserve more.”
