I have to ensure they’re okay before I worry about anything else.
That’s the only way, I realize, thatIwill be okay.
A light tap on my thigh startles me, and I look down at my best friend.
Mercer pulls his hand back, and without lifting his head, he says, “Ask if she’ll see Noah. I believe—” He releases shuddering breath. “I believe I’m the one she intends to avoid. She may say yes to Noah.”
He’s right.
She might.
But it would destroy him. It’d be like setting fire to the frayed edges of his heart after dousing them in petroleum.
I won’t do that to him.
I can’t.
Even if it kills me to walk out of this hospital without seeing her, without holding her in my arms, I won’t allow Mercer to sink any lower.
“No,” I counter. “We’ll accept that she needs space and wants us to go. Please let her know that we’ll be standing by if she needs anything.”
Atticus presses his lips together, but the lines on his face soften slightly.
Good.
I’ll take his pity and use it. Anything that might help us get closer.
“We care deeply about your sister,” I tell him.
He straightens his spine, a steely resolve settling over him. “And what about Ty? How do you feel about him?”
I hold his gaze for a beat. Then another. I won’t lie to this kid. I won’t dig this hole we’re in any deeper.
Hanging my head, I exhale and accept defeat.
I wasn’t the initiator. But I was complicit.
Guilty in a way I’ll never forgive myself for.
But I fear that walking out of this hospital without talking to Sawyer is a mistake.
Even so, I refuse to abandon Mercer, to leave him to stew in his self-loathing. If she won’t see the both of us, then this will have to wait.
Face lowered, I nod. “Please let her know that we’re only leaving because she asked us to. That we’re just a call away if she needs anything. We’ll be going now.”
I nudge Mercer’s shoulder, and he wordlessly rises.
Atticus nods, turns on his heel, and walks away.
It takes every ounce of willpower I possess to not stalk after him. To not follow him into that room.
I clasp Mercer on the shoulder and silently guide him to the exit, a hollowness sinking into my bones.
If I can’t be there for her right now, I need to be strong for him.
Chapter ten
Mercer
