With a sigh, she pulls back and regards me. “Listen to me, Noah Henry. Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes awful, life-altering situations shatter a person’s world. You’ve dealt with more than your fair share of that. I’m so sorry. But you don’t get to cast blame on yourself for what happened to your family without implicating me in what happened to mine.”
Snarling, I shake my head. “That’s not fair.” She can’t compare her parents’ murder with the accident I caused. Yes, we’ve both lost people we loved, but the circumstances—
“I don’t care about fair. I care about you, and I’m not going to let you blame yourself.”
“Not. Fair,” I grit out.
She has the audacity to smirk. “Maybe not. But it’s effective.”
Head hanging, I exhale. I hate to admit it, but she’s right.
She’s not responsible for the deaths of her parents.
I’m nowhere near ready to absolve myself of the guilt I’ve carried for almost two years. My grief is too wrapped up in it. Without one, the other might cease to exist, and I never want to stop remembering or honoring the people I lost.
But maybe with Sawyer’s help…
“I love you,” I croak out, lifting my head, letting her see the truth there, showing her how deeply she’s changed me.
This woman waltzed into my life and has surprised me at every turn. And she continues to challenge me in the most surprising, beautiful ways.
“Thank you,” I add, the words a quiet prayer of gratitude.
I’m broken.
I have so much recovery ahead of me.
But Sawyer isn’t scared of my darkness. She doesn’t shy away from the parts of me I try so damn hard to hide. She won’t get scared off if I have a bad day. I love her, she loves me, and I trust that I’ll never be too much for her to handle.
She wraps her arms around me and burrows her face into my neck. “We’re okay. And in moments when we’re not, we have each other. I love you, Noah. Because of that, no matter what challenges we face, we’re going to be okay.”
Chapter fifty-eight
Tytus
Ireach for Sawyer’s hand but miss as she passes by me once again. “Sit down, mon ange. You’re making Noah nervous.”
She’s making me nervous, too, but right now my dislike of hospitals is the last thing on my mind. Mercer went back to triage alone, and Sawyer’s been an anxious mess ever since. Noah is reeling. I’m trying to keep it together myself and be the support they need.
She hits me with a withering scowl, then straightens and continues pacing the length of the small waiting area.
“I should ask what’s taking so long. Mercer shouldn’t be back there alone.” She gnaws on her bottom lip, her steps slowing a fraction.
It takes everything in me not to drag her onto my lap and pull that pouty lip free.
It would be fruitless anyway. She won’t rest until she lays eyes on Mercer.
Sighing, I rest one hand on Noah’s back. He doesn’t shrug me off or bat away my touch, so I drag it back and forth between his shoulder blades the way Sawyer and Atty’s mom used to do for me after a long day of appointments or dealing with custody bullshit.
Across the room, Sawyer checks her phone, then sighs. “Maybe if I tell them I’m family—”
I bark out a laugh. “No one is going to talk to you. You were here a few weeks ago, pretending to bemywife. Please come sit.”
She whips around, glare in place once again, but then homes in on Noah and quietly makes her way over. We lock eyes, and my gaze shifts to the man beside me. I look back to Sawyer and raise one eyebrow, the unspoken suggestion clear: keep it together, because Noah needs us right now.
With a hip, she nudges his shoulder. “Will you hold me?”
He nods, leaning back to give her what she’s asking for, and she promptly parks herself in his lap.
