The best part of what happened at the party and in the woods that first night wasn’t just that I finally got to drop my mask and be myself; it’s that Damon was just as into it as I was.
I’ve never been one to subscribe to the whole “virginity is sacred” thing, but I can respect that it’s a big deal for some people. That’s why my policy has always been to stay the fuck away from virgins or people I know have limited experience because that’s a can of worms I don’t want to deal with.
I’m an asshole, but I hate drama, and ghosting virgins after deflowering them would definitely cause drama.
I’m also pretty sure that night in the woods wasn’t just my first time fucking a guy; it was his, too.
He told me I was the first guy he ever hooked up with, and I’m almost positive there wasn’t anyone between then and what happened at the AV party. And I know for sure he wasn’t with anyone else between the party and that night in the woods.
But instead of feeling indifferent about the possibility that I’m the only guy he’s been with, I fucking love it.
I don’t understand any of this, but something about him triggers my caveman instincts, and I’m not about to let something stupid like his gender or a shift in my sexuality stop me from having what I want.
Damonismine. He just doesn’t know it yet.
18
XAVE
“Still wantto go into town and cause some chaos later?” Jace asks, spinning his desk chair in a slow arc with his feet.
“I’m not sure they’re ready for more chaos after last time,” I tell him. “And I’m pretty sure Carter will lose his shit if he has to spend the night covering for your shenanigans again.”
He gives me a smirky grin. “I’m just trying to give him stuff to do. You know how destructive he gets when he’s bored.”
I huff out a laugh. “Yeah, but unlikesome people”—I give him a pointed look—“Carter only destroys math equations and codes, and the odd gadget he decides to pull apart, when he gets bored. It’s not like he leaves a trail of mayhem in his wake like someone else I know.”
Jace gives me a look that’s all wide-eyed innocence. “Are you sayingIleave a trail of mayhem everywhere I go, and thereforeI’mthe one who needs to be kept distracted?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I said.”
He makes aharrumphsound. “Oh, ye of little faith.”
“More like ye of twenty-one years of experience being your cousin.”
He grins, all traces of his confusion and fake innocence gone. “Yeah, that would do it.”
We fall silent for a few beats.
“So are you here to babysit me since my brother has decided he’d rather spend all his time with Myles, but still feels the need to act like my keeper?” Jace asks, his tone deceptively casual despite his pointed words.
“I’m not here to babysit you,” I tell him, but I understand why he asked.
I haven’t been spending much time with any of my cousins lately, and while that’s not unusual for us, now isn’t the best time for me to be absent.
Jace doesn’t do well with idle time, and he’s not used to dealing with things alone. He needs Jax to balance him, the same as Jax needs Jace to help keep him in line, but Jax hasn’t been around either. And Jax has been lying to him.
It’s obvious something is going on between him and Myles, and that whatever it is goes deeper than just hooking up, but the few times Jace has asked him about it, Jax denied it. And the twins don’t hide stuff from each other, ever. So between Jax never being around and his lying about what’s going on, Jace has been on edge. And that’s when he’s the most dangerous.
Usually Killian and I would step in and make sure Jace doesn’t go off the rails, but Killian and Felix have their thing going on, and I’ve been spending most of my time watching—and fucking—Damon, so Jace has been left alone.
Although I’m pretty sure he has something going on too, considering the random fights he’s been getting into. It’s not unusual for Jace to fight, but hiding who he’s fighting with isn’t like him. Neither is how evasive and defensive he gets when any of us even broach the subject.
Seems like we’ve all got shit we’re keeping to ourselves.
Thankfully Jace has kept the chaos and mayhem to a minimum so far, but there’s only so long that will last before he acts out and or gives in to his true nature. And I’m the one who’ll have to answer for it when it does eventually happen.
He gives me a long look, his gaze so intense I have to resist the urge to squirm under his scrutiny. “Are you going to keep lying to me like my brother is? Or are you going to tell me the truth about what’s going on between you and Damon?”
