“When you left, I felt awful.” Her eyes welled.
Damn, I had really screwed up here. I grasped her hand and sat her down on the bed. “Why, Doc?”
“Because—because I panicked. I wanted you to be here for the next part. But I was uncomfortable with what it said about me. About being needy. I don’t want you to ever think I’m clingy or desperate for your attention.”
If she needed me, she only had to ask. I would be there for her, no matter what. After all, we would be linked for life because of this baby.
“It’s okay to need people.”
“Up to a certain point. I think I was worried that the intimacy of it all would be confusing. We’re not a couple, at least not in the traditional sense, and I don’t want you to feel obligated to hold my hand through this.”
“Yet I didn’t mind when your hand held my balls.”
She snorted. “Okay, down to brass tacks.”
“Brass balls, more like.”
“You certainly have them.” Her smile was a little sad. “You’re braver than me, Jason. You have desires and wants, and you put it out there. While I have desires and wants, and I put them back in a box.”
I understood her reticence. Nerds never had it easy.
“Yet, you put this plan in motion. You turned this need you had for a baby into something actionable. Made it happen with some outside-the-box thinking.”
“You think so?”
I smiled. “I do. And it’s understandable that what’s happening draws us closer together. Gives us all sorts of ideas and pushes the boundaries.”
“The boundaries are there for a reason,” she murmured, “yet crossing them is quite thrilling.”
I inhaled deeply and took my shot. “Are you trying to tell me that you’d like this baby-making business to be more … sexy?”
“I don’t think it could get less sexy. Syringes are a bit of a buzzkill.”
I was still holding her hand. I traced a finger over her palm, then her wrist. She shivered.
“You’d like to go a more natural route. A sexier route.” I leaned in. “You want me inside you when I come?”
I suspected she wanted to remember how her baby was conceived and “turkey baster” was not it.
Her mouth wobbled. “Only if you’d like that.”
“Oh, I would. Very much. But I have a special request.”
“You do?”
I nodded. “If we do this, we do it my way. Do what I tell you, and I promise you won’t regret changing the rules of play.”
A tiny gasp that tugged at my groin. The doc liked Bossy Jason.
“As long as everything we do is aimed at making a baby.”
“Are you trying to get out of certain sex acts?”
She bit her lip. “I’m just not sure certain sex acts will contribute to the enterprise.”
I stood and removed my jacket, then my tee. “Such as?”
Just as before, she couldn’t take her eyes off my chest. I rubbed my hand over my pecs to let her know how touchable I was.
