“Hey, Lillian,” I greet.
“Hey, Sawyer. I booked a study room for Sunday,” Lillian tells me, pausing a few feet away. “I was just about to text the group, then saw you over here.” She glances at Wren. “Hey. I don’t think we’ve met before?”
“This is … Wren,” I say, placing a palm on Wren’s lower back as Iintroduce her. Her spine feels stiff under my palm, but maybe I’m imagining the tension. I hope I am. “Wren, this is Lillian. We’re co-sufferers in physics together.”
“Hostages really,” Lillian agrees.
“Nice to meet you.” Wren smiles, but her back doesn’t relax.
“You too,” Lillian replies. She glances at me. “You going to Stewart tonight?”
“Not sure yet,” I say.
She nods. “If not, I’ll see you Sunday!”
Lillian heads back toward one of the periphery tables.
Wren continues in the direction of the salad bar without saying a word.
I exhale and follow.
A small part of me likes that she’s jealous. God knows I’ve had to watch enough guys lust after her. My phone has been buzzing for the past two hours with messages from the guys, asking if we’re dating, how serious it is, if she’s coming to the party.
Most of me is exhausted and exasperated. Wren has absolutely no reason to feel threatened by Lillian or anyone else. I haven’t given another girl my full attention since I met her, much less kissed or fucked anyone else. Wren has done both, and it’s my own damn fault for not admitting how I felt sooner. It’s bad enough I have to live with that. I’d rather not waste precious time together with wrong assumptions.
I grab a plate and join her in line. “She’s just a friend.”
“I didn’t ask,” Wren says, reaching for a pair of tongs.
“You assumed. I wouldn’t have kissed you earlier if I was seeing someone else.”
There’s a much larger conversation simmering under the surface here. One we need to have soon, one we should have had a while ago.But this isn’t the right place, so that’s all I say as I continue down the line, selecting veggies, then follow Wren to the next station.
She picks at her food once we settle at a table, and I’m not sure if it’s a commentary on the quality or something else is going on.
“Do you want to go to the party?” I ask. “It’s only a few blocks from campus. A few guys on the lacrosse team are hosting.”
“Lillian’s hoping you’ll show up alone,” Wren informs me, setting her fork down.
“I’m either going with you or not going at all.”
She sighs, finally meeting my gaze. “I should head home. I wasn’t planning to spend the night. I didn’t bring any stuff with me.”
I check the time on my phone. “You’ve got a two-hour drive back to Manhattan. And aren’t you still on Italian time? It’s past midnight there.”
“I slept on the plane. And I’ll stop at a hotel, if I get tired driving.”
“I want you to spend the night. Wesley’s brother, Austin, is visiting this weekend. His parents got them a hotel room, so I have the dorm room to myself.”
“For sex?”
I exhale. “It’s been nine months, Wren. Yeah, I want to have sex with you. But that’s not the only reason I want you to stay. It hasn’t been the only reason for anything since the first time we slept together. Maybe not even then.”
She picks up her fork. “I’ll stay.”
54
I’m a coward. I’m a cowardly coward who cowers. Who ducks and avoids and panics at the first sign another girl is interested in the guy I’ve been in love with for years.
