Jane shook her head. “I am not getting out of this tub while you are in here.”
Tossing the towel over his shoulder, Morgan sat back on his heels. “Why not?”
“Because I am not wearing anything.” She pointed to the washroom door. “Out.” When he did not move, she said, “Please.”
Morgan rose slowly. “I don’t understand. I’m your husband.”
“Please?”
“All right.” He dropped the towel on a chair and backed out of the room, closing the door behind him. “I wouldn’t ask you to leave.” When Jane did not reply, Morgan shrugged, but he was grinning.
He got ready for bed while Jane was in the washroom and was turning back the covers when she reappeared. She had the kettle in one hand. He took it from her and pointed to the bed. Morgan recognized it as one of the few times since Finn and Rabbit left that she did not fuss at him. By the time he returned from the kitchen, Jane was in bed. She had a book open in her lap and did not look up as he crawled into bed. He lay on his back and did not try to engage her in conversation. Neither did he try to figure out what he had done wrong or what she thought he had done wrong. He could not imagine a more futile exercise in cogitation. When Jane was ready, she would tell him.
What he did instead was plan his apology. Fairly certain that one was going to be required, Morgan went through several drafts while Jane read. He also did not pretend to be sleeping when she finally closed her book and put it aside. She glanced at him before she extinguished the lamp. Morgan met her with a raised eyebrow and a question in his eyes.
Jane slid down in bed and pulled up the covers. She did not turn on her side as he did. “I would like to go to church tomorrow,” she said. “I hope that will not be a problem.”
Her request surprised Morgan into a longer silence.
Jane said, “I understand that you might have objections. If you do not want to accompany me, then perhaps you’ll ask one of your men to do it.”
“How long have you had this raspberry seed stuck in your teeth?”
“I’ve been thinking about it most of the day, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Most of the day,” he repeated. “How about since Rabbit and Finn were here? Something’s been different since then.”
“Are you saying that because I asked you to leave before I got out of the tub? One has nothing to do with the other. I am simply?—”
“Jane. No. You’re modest, and mostly we’re still strangers. You let me help you rinse your hair. It’s a place to start, like you said from the first about sharing space. I’m talking about how prickly you’ve been since the boys left. Little things. Now I’m wondering if you’ve spent all the time that they’ve been gone working yourself up to telling me that you want to go to church. I thought you had more on your mind than something like that.”
“I have many things on my mind. That’s the one I want to talk about now. May I go to church tomorrow?”
“You can’t wait until the rustlers are caught?”
“I can wait, if you insist, but it’s been nearly a month of cat and mouse, and all there is to show for it are a few missing cows and poor Jem’s battered face. If I have been prickly since the boys left, it is because their visit made me long for different company than the company I usually keep. I was not expecting that. If you had asked me yesterday, I would have told you I was content. Today…I am not certain I can explain how I feel today.”
Morgan wished he had not turned back the lamp. He wanted to see more than Jane’s shadowed profile. “Last night…” His voice trailed off because he didn’t know what he wanted to say.
“Yes,” Jane said quietly. “Last night.”
“You still have no regrets?”
“None.” Jane turned her head toward him. “I feel more alone, Morgan. I can hardly ask you to understand something I don’t understand myself. I thought if I went to church, if I talked to someone…” She reached for his hand. “I am where I want to be.”
“Are you?”
“Yes. I mean that.” She slipped her fingers through his and squeezed. “Morgan?”
“So you’re not leaving me.”
Jane sat up so suddenly the bed frame banged against the wall. She tore her hand out of his. “Why would you say that?” she said. “Why would you think it?”
He did not answer. Couldn’t. He started to sit up, but Jane stopped him. She laid a hand on his shoulder and he did not resist. He figured he owed her that.
“Don’t go,” she whispered. “I am not letting you leave me.” She slid down and lay on her side against him. Drawing up a leg, she placed it over his, and then she put an arm across his chest. “Where else do you have to be but here?”
His voice, when he could push it past the constriction in his throat, was a little rough. “Nowhere, I guess.”
