I answered, “You good, where you at, baby?” He asked without giving me a chance to say hello.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I was actually just about to call you. Can you come out to help me with the things I bought?” I chuckled.
“Yeah,” he said as he disconnected the call.
I pulled into our driveway, shut the engine, and watched him walk toward me. Button down completely open, belt unfastened, no shoes, only socks. I groaned because my husband wasfine. There was no denying that.
“Breeze, why did you go buy all this shit?” He asked, laughing, as I stepped out of the vehicle with the bags that I had placed on the seat.
“You know that you can never just buy one thing from the store,” I admitted, and went inside so that I could start putting the things away, and we could prepare for our night together.
When the last of it was inside, he went upstairs to shower while I put everything away and began setting up. I had already ordered his dinner on the way home. I was still full from lunch with Cass earlier, so I wouldn’t have more than a bite or two.
Once we had both showered and the food arrived, I set the mood for the night. I had Usher playing softly in thebackground, with wine, and we were sitting on the floor in the middle of our family room, on plush blankets with pillows, painting the custom canvases I ordered for tonight. I had him choose his favorite photo of us, and I did the same. He’d paint mine, and I’d paint his.
“Come here, Breeze,” he said lowly as I slowly stroked the green paint on the brush back and forth against the tree from our Christmas photo about ten years ago. I could see why he chose it. I had chosen the first photo that we had ever taken together. I guess we both were reminding each other of where we started many years ago.
Putting the brush into the cup, I crawled over to him and lay across his legs. I looked at the picture of us, half-painted. We were young and unassuming. Somehow, even back then, we always knew that we’d be right here all these years later.
He leaned down and kissed me; it was slow and deep. Honestly, it gave me goosebumps. When we finally broke the kiss, I sighed, looked at the picture again, and sat up.
“I love you,” I smiled as I cupped his chin.
“I love you too, baby,” he said as he kissed my forehead. Just as my phone buzzed.
Grabbing it, I saw that it was Dr. Long. He was working late. It was well past 9 p.m., and I had forgotten that he was supposed to email us the exercises.
“It’s Dr. Long, with the exercises,” I sighed as I opened the message and read the first line.
Tim put his brush down and gave me his full attention.
“Cool, what did he say?”
I sat up straight and prepared to read the email out loud to him.
“It says…”
Mr. and Mrs. Thompson, thank you again for trusting me to support you as you navigate such a delicate and personaltopic. After reviewing my notes from your session, I’ve outlined a week of structured reflection exercises designed to help you gain clarity around how, or if, you will move forward, while keeping the health of your marriage as the focal point.
Please approach each exercise with curiosity rather than judgment. These are not meant to push you toward a particular outcome, but to help you better understand yourselves and one another.
Wednesday: Assurance- You all have had a previous solo encounter. Use this first night to reaffirm to your partner that what you are receiving from the encounters has nothing to do with what the other lacks. For this exercise, each of you should share: One aspect of the encounter that was uncomfortable or emotionally challenging, and one thing you missed about your spouse.
Thursday: Rewriting Boundaries- During your first session, you all discussed a list of non-negotiable boundaries. Discuss whether the boundaries were protective or restrictive and whether they are still necessary. Also, feel free to discuss any new boundaries that may arise.
Friday: Fears and Curiosity - Openly and honestly discuss your two biggest fears about why you are hesitant about having another outside encounter. Also, discuss what feels meaningful or exciting about the possibility of continuing.
Saturday: Discovery- This exercise is intended to reduce blame or defensiveness. Discuss what the encounter revealed about yourself as a person and about your sexual needs and desires. This is self-awareness, not a critique of your partner.
Sunday: Reset- There will be no verbal processing today. But the work does not stop. Instead, spend intentional, quiet time together doing a shared activity. Do not discuss exercises or the arrangement. (e.g., take a shower, watch a movie, or bake a cake)
Monday: Looking Ahead- Discuss two possible futures. If you agree to continue the encounters, how do you envision your marriage looking in two years? If you say no, what does intimacy look like? And will there be any resentment? Speak openly and candidly about this. Do not hold back.
Tuesday: Transparency- Individually write down the answer to these three questions:
Why am I choosing this marriage today? What am I willing to sacrifice to keep this marriage intact? What do I need from my spouse going forward?
Please seal your responses and bring them to our session on Wednesday. These should not be shared prior to the session. For the third question, each of you must provide an answer. No matter how small. Having needs does not imply failure or guilt.
