She taps it again. Again, nothing.
She then smashes the hammer against my knee, much harder. It hurts like heck and I cry out in pain.
Rougey immediately covers my mouth with her hand. “Don’t cry, Bianca. You can’t cry at the doctor’s office.”
I don’t like this game anymore. I try to stand up to leave the basement, but Rougey’s grip on me is too strong for me to get up.
“Sit, Bianca. The checkup isn’t done.”
Fighting back tears, I sit back down on the treadmill. There’s a big bump forming on my knee where Rouge hit it with the hammer, but maybe if I play along she won’t hit me again.
“Next, stick out your tongue and say ‘ahh,’” Rougey commands.
I do so, and Rouge pulls out an old popsicle stick and sticks it down my throat. I gag on it, almost throw up, but I don’t want her to hit me again, so I keep my tongue stuck out as long as I can.
Finally, Rougey removes the popsicle stick. “Your adenoids don’t look too great. We might have to remove them.”
I don’t know what she means by that, but I just nod slowly.
“Next, you’ll have to take your clothes off.”
Warmth rushes to my cheeks. “What?”
“You’ve been to the doctor, Bianca. You have to take your clothes off so the doctor can make sure all your parts are working correctly.”
“But… But…”
Rougey grabs the hammer, stares at me. “Would you rather we test your reflexes again?”
My lip trembles, but I do my best to steady it. “No.”
“Then take your fucking clothes off, Bianca.”
She swore.
Mommy doesn’t like to swear. Daddy does it all the time. But Rougey is too young. If Mommy caught her saying the F word—that’s the worst one—she’d wash her mouth out with soap.
I slowly wiggle out of the T-shirt and shorts I’m wearing.
“Underwear, too.”
“Rougey…”
“Did I stutter, Bianca? The doctor needs to check out your whole body.”
A single tear slips out of my left eye as I slip the undies off.
“Good. Now lie back on the examination table…”
I don’t ever let myself think about it.
I can’t.
We were young. Kids have a natural curiosity about sexuality.
But it’s one thing for two kids around the same age to play a game of “show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”
Rouge was thirteen. I was seven.
