“That’s exactly what I expect you to do. You’ll want for nothing until the day you die, Belle. You’ve done wonderfully for yourself. You’ve invested wisely and saved your money like a responsible adult, unlike your family. Your father’s debts are just that, his debts. Not yours. It shouldn’t be left up to you to save himagain. To save any of them.”
Even though I know Dale is right, I can’t turn my back on my family. While they treat me like trash, they’re the only family I have left. What does it say about me if I don’t save them from ruin? I’ll be just like them. Selfish. I refuse to be a selfish person, even to those who are that way to me.
“You know I can’t do that, Dale. No matter what he’s done, he’s still my father. I have to do this.”
Defeated, his shoulders sag. As he stands to his full height, the anguish in his eyes sends a pang through my chest. The thought of causing him pain fills me with guilt and sadness. He’s been a good friend, and I care a lot about him, but I don’t love him.
If I’d lived a different life, I believe I’d easily fall for Dale, but he has too much to offer someone who’s more worthy than me. Someone who will give him everything he needs and deserves. At this point in my life, that person isn’t me. Maybe it’ll be in the future, but not now. Right now, I can’t give him anything but lonely days and nights since mine are consumed by my career.
I stand, make my way toward him, and then gently place my hands on his face. “Whoever you fall in love with is going to be one lucky woman.”
“I’ve already found that woman,” he says with sadness in his eyes. “Unfortunately, she’s getting ready to marry another man.”
“Dale, no matter how much I would love to be that woman, and no matter how much you want me to be her, I’m not. But she’s out there. Trust me.”
I stand on my tiptoes and try to kiss his cheek, but he has other things in mind. With his strong arms wrapped around my waist, he pulls me in, pressing our bodies together. Another look of sadness passes over his handsome features. I don’t want to be the cause of his pain, and I wish I could make it all go away, but there’s nothing I can do. I have to marry Florian to save my family.
His kiss is slow and thoughtful. Although nice, I don’t feel any kind of excitement or spark. No butterflies. No increased sense of longing for more or heartache that we can’t take our friendship to the next level. Immediately, I know I’ve made the right decision. Dale is not the man for me. As he lifts his lips away from mine, his gaze locked with mine, I can see the spark of realization replacing the lingering pain in his eyes. He felt nothing either.
“Don’t be a stranger.” He steps away from me and hands me the contract. “Call me if you need me. I’ll always be there for you.”
“I know you will.” I wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head against his broad, muscular chest. Although things will be different from now on, Dale will always have a special place in my heart. “Thanks, Dale. For everything.”
I don’t know why it seems so final, but after I put my name on this contract, I have a feeling that things in my life will never be the same. I pull back and give him a final wave before exiting his office.
11
Florian
With a groan, I toss the crumpled sheets off my body, instantly feeling the weight of exhaustion in my limbs as I rub the tiredness from my eyes. With each passing day, sleep seems to slip further away, and I cherish the couple of hours I’ve been able to get.
As I gaze at Adahlia, her blonde locks cascading onto my black satin sheets, any remnants of contentment from the few hours of sleep I had evaporate, leaving behind a sour mood.
I’ll never understand why I put myself through the agony of sleeping with other women, knowing deep down that no one can truly fulfill me. Nobody can replaceher. There’s only one person who possesses my black heart, and her presence consumes my soul.
“Fuck!” I groan when I stand and sway.
The unending pounding in my head serves as a constant reminder of the fleeting nature of sleep and the ceaseless stress that plagues my existence. The migraines can be debilitating at times, but I manage them, determined to keep my weakness asecret. Adahlia’s presence only amplifies the fucking pressure, making the pounding in my head unbearable. But I have no one to blame but myself because when she calls and begs for me to fuck her, I can never say no.
I love it when she begs.
I lazily make my way toward my balcony, not bothering to put on any clothes. I gaze through the tinted panes of glass, wondering what she’s up to today. According to Hugo, Arabelle visited her lawyer, but I haven’t received the contract yet. Her time off is nearly up before she goes back to work. It’s not nearly enough time to rest for the amount of work she does, but who am I to judge? Like I said, I may get a couple of hours of sleep myself. I know how it is to work yourself too hard to where your life becomes consumed by your work and nothing else.
I can’t wait to change that.
I wish I could catch a glimpse of her. It’s been weeks since I’ve been able to see her beautiful face. Of course, I get daily updates on where she’s been and who she’s with, but nothing ever changes where she’s concerned. Outside of her job, she has no life. While I pity her sometimes because she’s alone, and that can’t be easy for anyone, I’m grateful all the same.
I’m a bastard.
The last time Arabelle’s schedule changed, she ended up being attacked in a grimy alley behind a bar. It was through no fault of her own, of course, but he paid for it with his life. I did what needed to be done. However, they discovered Pierre Gaultier’s lifeless body only because I was driven by emotion. I had done a piss-poor job disposing of the body, but I’ll make sure Arabelle and myself will be protected. I have a lot of people in my pocket, and they are always looking to get their pockets lined.
No man will ever share her space and breathe the same air she breathes. Not while I’m alive, especially someone she didn’tgive consent to. No one deserves to have even the smallest piece of her. Not even me.
I make my way back toward my bed, each step filled with a growing sense of dread for when Adahlia wakes up. I open my nightstand and pull out the pack of cigarettes inside. I promised my mother when she was alive that I would quit, but like everything else I promised her, I haven’t been able to do it.
At the click of the lighter, Adahlia’s beautiful blue eyes peer up at me through long lashes. A small smile graces her face. In her mind, she’s convinced herself she’s in love with me, but in reality, she’s not. She’s in love with my cock and the idea of us.
Throughout the years we’ve been intimate, we’ve had this conversation countless times: she believes it’s love, while I always emphasize it’s purely physical. It will never go beyond us having sex. I will never open my heart up to her.
