Retreat felt wrong but was the best plan. Jude was struggling with the bond, with trusting Gale, and accepting what he craved. It was time to get help from a man who understood the struggle of a mate bond.
Leo’s group chat had revealed rumours of a man who lived in the forest, and they were due to take the long drive to his cabin. So before he had to spend hours alone with Jude in a confined metal box, Gale bit the bullet. He woke early and took two cups of coffee onto the back porch.
Drew sat on the porch every morning, letting his lynx connect to the world. Finding him wasn’t difficult, but he looked brighter than Gale expected. If rumours were to be believed, his nightmares and torment over a past trauma were lessening as his bond with Rylee grew.
“Morning,” Gale said, handing over a cup of coffee with a dash of honey, the way Drew liked it.
Drew shuffled across the swing chair to make room.
They sipped their coffee in silence, watching the day come alive, listening to birds chirping in the trees, the scent of morning dew a welcome refreshment after the storm.
Not sure if, or why, it mattered, Gale blurted, “Jude is gay.”
“I noticed.”
He nodded and took a breath. “I think we’re bonding. Do you know what that means?”
A frown formed on Drew’s brow, and he shook his head. “I was about to say yes. Now I’m thinking no.”
“M’weko bond to their mate. The scent and bond tell us who our true mate is.”
“Like the red eye flash I did with Rylee?”
“More complex but…sure.” The difference was a matter of species and wasn’t worth arguing. M’nuni varied amongst species in Vihaan and demanded different rites or values to see it completed. Kalou had the closest ritual, so Gale went with it. “The problem is I’ve never looked at another guy in my life. And it’s Jude. We’ve worked and fought side by side for years. We met in our version of the army when we were eighteen. We’ve spent countless days and nights of the last seven years in close proximity. That should have sparked the bond but it didn’t. Comingheresparked the bond.”
Drew hummed and sipped his coffee. “What are you saying?”
“In Vihaan, you either fuck men or women,” Gale explained, because it was that simple—and complicated for the same reason. “No one gives a shit about these labels you guys have. They don’t care what it means or what it makes you. The closest word we have, besides gay, is the foame wordgaoj?man-lover?and it’s an insult. M’weko don’t use it.” He scratched a nail at the faded image on his cup and voiced his problem, “Why is it I’m the one accepting it and Jude is fighting me every step?”
Drew sipped at his coffee, brows raised. When he found the words, he shook his head. “No offence, but I’d have thought it would be the other way around.”
Despite being new and terrifying, Gale didn’t care. Jude was his mate. Histruemate. That trumped self-doubt, confusion over sexual identity, or nerves over not being capable of pleasing his mate. None of it mattered.
“Is it possible he’s afraid it’s not real?” Drew took a breath, pulled a foot onto the seat, and hugged his knee. “Because I know from experience when something seems perfect, when you have the perfect man and everything is going great, you can’t let yourself hope, in case it comes crashing down. Sometimes, what seems too good to be trueis, and you decide not to trust it from the start so you don’t get your heart broken.”
Gale sipped his coffee, figuring that made sense. “What if we’ve already started fucking?” he asked, not sure if that made a difference. When he caught Drew’s surprise, he explained, “I’m not a man who fights what’s inevitable. The moment I felt the bond, I acted on it—the best I can—without the official mating. Jude responds to me physically, but his scent flits between acceptance and indifference.
“One minute, I’m his world, the next, he’s ignoring or fighting me. He wants me physically, but I don’t think he wants…me.” It was hard to admit, especially to someone who had their true mate and got to live the happy life he wanted, but he wouldn’t lie. Drew couldn’t help if he didn’t know what was happening. Taking a final sip of coffee, Gale admitted what frightened him the most. “I think he’ll reject me.”
“Wow.” Drew put a hand on Gale’s back, a consoling, compassionate touch. “I can’t tell you what’s in Jude’s head, but I understand why you’re afraid to confront the issue. Being rejected as a human hurts, especially when you don’t understand what you’ve done wrong,” he said, with enough feeling to suggest he meant every word. “To be rejected as a mate on such a deep level? Rylee said that can destroy you.”
It wasn’t a question, so Gale didn’t treat it as one.
“I’m sorry.” Drew rubbed his back and spoke softly. “All I can say is…wouldn’t it be better to know than to keep torturing yourself? I mean, I’ve seen you and Jude argue. You guys push hard. Maybe it’s worth fighting until the air is cleared,” he reasoned, not saying anything Gale hadn’t already considered.
“Like after a storm,” he said, beginning to see the best way forward. To discover whether Jude was scared of the mate bond or clinging to a pleasure he didn’t want to keep or claim long-term.
“Right.”
“Okay.” He finished his coffee in one gulp and stood from the seat.
“Really?”
“What else is there?” Gale smiled at the sweet guy who tried to fix everyone’s problems. He ruffled Drew’s hair in gratitude and headed for the door to prepare for the day ahead. “Like I said, we do things differently in Vihaan.”
*
It took two hours to escape the city for the forest where their next potential exile lived. Gale hated every second of being trapped in the car. To give Drew his due, he’d asked Gale to sit in the passenger seat to discuss the case file they’d formed through their investigation.
