Chapter 4
“Feeling better?” Grayson whispered, as they all sat on the outside decking, thanks to the worst of the weather turning south.
Konnor smiled softly and nodded. “Yeah. I'm sorry. I think it's just...going through everything with the therapist brought it all back and I'm having to deal with it all over again, just in a different way. Does that make sense?” He lifted his gaze from his bottle of beer and met Grayson's eyes unerringly.
It was a relief to know he could do that, without the usual guilt or anger getting in the way. Grayson knew how hard it had been for him; though he didn't have the nightmares that a lot of their friends did, Konnor hadn't exactly been coping either. Hell, he hadn't been coping for a very, very long time. But he was good at faking it and it was only his eyes, always so expressive, that gave away what he was really thinking.
This time, they were calm and content. Enough that he knew even if he couldn't fend off a panic attack, Lachlan could. Because, as much as any other boyfriend or fiancé would hate it, Grayson accepted that Lachlan knew Konnor better. He always would. And that was okay, because they'd spent their entire lives together, learning how to read each other's body language, making mistakes, having conversations that required no words. What they had, he was just beginning to develop with Konnor. It would be years before they were as in tune as Lachlan was with his fiancé.
Turning away for a moment, he watched Tam and Giovanni laughing over the barbecue; they'd offered to take over cooking duty so that Grayson could stay with Konnor. The way they'd stepped up, not only to work together without question, but that they even recognised how badly Grayson needed to be with Konnor right now, meant more than what they were doing.
He didn't care if they never ate again as long as he had friends like them.
On the other side of the decking, Lachlan, Casen and Darren were plotting something, with Cormag's quiet, random input. Grayson thought he'd heard something about a 'what if' story, but he didn't really know what that meant.
With the storm over and the sun still struggling to escape the clouds, it was far from a perfect day; there was a cold wind, choppy seas battering the beach and a dullness to the sky that suggested the storm would come back again soon. Yet, Grayson wouldn't wish to be anywhere else right now.
“I think it's good,” he said, eventually. “That you're refreshing it all and finally dealing with it. I know it's hard, especially after such a long time, but I'd rather you coped now, while everyone is here to show you how much you're loved and how much all that stuff in the past doesn't matter, than for you to bottle it up inside for any longer.”
Konnor grasped his hand and squeezed it gently, as his lips twitched with the beginnings of a smile. “You know I wouldn't get through any of this without you, right? Lachlan helps calm me down, sometimes, but it's you that got me this far. It's you who brought him back into my life, to start with,” he confessed, sending a rush of love and warmth shooting through Grayson's body.
Leaning in, he kissed his fiancé in appreciation for that faith in him. Then he whispered, “Do you want to make the announcement now?”
With a look of absolute delight, Konnor turned and looked around their group of friends, before standing. Clearing his throat, he waited until they stopped talking and looked his way, before speaking. “Um, Grayson invited you all here for reasons we don't really need to discuss, but I have something else to tell you,” he admitted, taking full responsibility for the announcement. Then he stopped and looked down at Grayson. “Wehave something else to tell you,” he corrected himself.
“Is everything alright?” Lachlan asked, frowning just enough to say that he wasn't sure what to make of this. Or what would happen because of it.
“Perfect,” Konnor replied, then took a deep breath. “Grayson proposed and I said yes.”
For a moment, silence reigned, then Lachlan jumped up and grabbed his best friend in a tight hug. Darren and Casen gushed with congratulations, followed by more muted responses from Cormag and Giovanni. Levi simply tipped his beer bottle in their direction, while Mack nodded.
When the path was clear, Tam walked over and encased Konnor in a tight, bone-crushing hug that he responded to in kind.
As Grayson stood up to hug his friends and accept their warm wishes and congratulations, he heard a quiet whisper from Tam to Konnor.
“I still love you. With my whole heart,” he began, only to squeeze Konnor tighter. “It's just in a different way, now. I hope you know I'll always be here for you. For both of you.”
Grayson wanted to cry, but held himself together with difficulty, as his fiancé broke down and cried into Tam's shoulder. He nodded his acceptance of his whispered words, so Grayson knew he didn't have to interfere. Between Lachlan and Tam, Konnor would finally find the closure he needed to help his recovery.
Until then, he kept everyone occupied with conversation and checked on the slow-cook barbecue that would be their celebration for tonight. Tomorrow, they might go a little more all out to celebrate their engagement.
***
“You do realise they're up to something,” Mack teased, as he sat beside Levi at the table on the decking.
His new boyfriend grinned and took a sip of beer, while Cormag looked to the other end of the table, where Casen, Lachlan and Darren were huddled around Lachlan's phone as he typed furiously.
“Yeah, but the question is...how much trouble is it going to get you into?” Levi agreed, eyeing their better halves with amusement.
Tam, Cormag and Giovanni were quietly enjoying their beers and watching the way the waves crashed against the sand, creating the most beautiful, calming sounds. Not one of them appeared concerned.
Mack couldn't blame them for being distracted, but his mind was abuzz with thoughts and evaluating his companions. He barely knew half the people here and the other half weren't exactly on the best of terms. But he supposed that was the point of being here.
“It's good to see them so happy,” Tam commented, completely ignoring the teasing. “To see that they're settling down. I know Konnor's waited a long time for this. This is all he's wanted for years.”
Cormag nodded, apparently knowing that already. Mack had to admit that he had no clue; Casen had probably mentioned it, but he hadn't exactly been paying attention to every word out of his mouth for the past few months. Casen was far too excited about seeing Lachlan and Darren together, as it was the first time Darren would be meeting both of them, after buggering off to Italy to live.
“I haven't told Lachlan yet, but Grayson called and checked that it was the right time,” Cormag admitted, out of nowhere. He smiled as he took a sip of beer. “He was worried that asking before his recovery homework was complete – confronting the past and all that – would only hold him back from going through with his recovery,” he explained, only to turn to Giovanni and nod to him in some sort of recognition. “Darren helped me give him the right advice. Lachlan told us how you both managed to find a balance and refused to let recovery get in the way of life.”
