But his slip-ups were piling up. First Meph’s fingers, now this idiotic display. How long until he lost it and did something really terrible? But he couldn’t force himself to stay at home all the time and expect not to lose his mind either. He didn’t know what to do.
That was the problem with his celibacy pact. Sex had always been an outlet for his temper. When he’d stopped, he’d cut himself off from one of his primary forms of release without offering an alternative.
Naiamah was right, that bitch.Repression never works.Knowing she had called that from the get-go, back when he’d been all optimistic about his new life plan, pissed him off. Just once, he’d wanted to do something different.
He’d wanted tobesomeone different.
“Look,” Eva said, “maybe I could talk to Skye, explain to her that—”
“No. You were right before. She’s safest far away from all of us. If it’ll help her feel better, you can tell her I said I’m sorry for losing my shit, but that’s as far as I’ll go.”
She blew out a breath. “Fine. I hate this though. It would be nice for you to have some company, you know? You’re a catch, Bel. What woman doesn’t want to sit and drink fancy wine while you cook her a five-course meal? That’s the dream.”
He grunted. It was a nice fantasy. But he was pretty sure it wasn’t “the dream” to date a flaming rageaholic who blew up every time someone looked at him sideways. He wasn’t about to make some poor human risk her life every second she was around him in case he tried to push her out of the path of a moving car and ended up launching her halfway down the block.
And that wasn’t even touching on why he hadn’t started having sex again after reaching his six-month goal. He would rather die than lose control and flambé someone in bed. Just knowing that he had to worry about that was enough to kill his desire.
“I should go, Eva.”
“Yeah, me too. It’s so late, I feel like my eyes are bleeding.”
“Thanks for inviting me tonight.”
“Aw, of course. It’s never as fun without you there. We all miss you when you’re not around.”
“You’re starting to sound like your mother, you know.”
“She wants you to come over for dinner again.”
“Of course she does.”
“Night, Bel.”
“Night.” He hung up. And then, because he was feeling sorry for himself, he chucked his phone across the room. It was vaguely satisfying to see it smack the wall.
Then he groaned. If he’d dented the drywall of his fancy new house, he was going to punch himself. He wouldn’t mind if his phone broke though. Then he wouldn’t have to endure any more awkward conversations.
CURIOSITY AND THECAT
SEVERAL HOURS LATER, SUYIN LAY AWAKE IN HER BED, staring at the ceiling. Her bedroom was directly below Murmur’s, and she couldn’t help wondering … was he up there now? Trying to sleep and failing as she was?
When she’d returned to her rooms after what happened in the library, she’d found another pile of food waiting on her bed. Murmur had sent someone to get her more supplies before she’d even had a chance to ask. Or maybe he’d told the demon to replenish her stash whenever it ran low. Either way, it showed a level of thoughtfulness she hadn’t expected from him, and she wasn’t sure what to make of it.
She couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d looked above her, his eyes heavy-lidded with desire, his snow-white hair falling like a curtain around them. And she’d confirmed it this time: There was nothing cold about him when he kissed her. Maybe he was normally cold to the touch, but when he was turned on, he was like a furnace. The heat of his body seared through her clothes to her bare skin, making it burn with desire.
She wasn’t even trying to lie to herself anymore. She was wildly attracted to a mad necromancer demon. She wanted him. Badly.
But she’d still left when he gave her the chance.
She may have given up on denying her attraction, but that didn’t mean she had to stop fighting it. Shehadto fight it. She’d never been religious, despite knowing of the existence of Heaven and Hell. In her mind, it was actions and intentions that determined a person’s worthiness for Heaven. It had nothing to do with how many lifeless sermons they sat through.
But surely, having sex with a demon was a surefire way to doom a soul.
Then again … Iris was doing it.
Suyin smacked a palm to her forehead. She couldn’t be that person who got kidnapped, taken toHell, and then fucked her captor within an inch of his immortal life. Over and over. For hours. On the table. On the floor by the fire. In his bed. In her bed.
With a groan, she rolled over, facing the red sky outside. A moment later, she rolled back the other way. She rolled one more time before blowing out a breath and sitting up with a jerk.Fuck it.She was way too restless to sleep right now.
