“There isn’t,” he muttered to himself, shuffling papers around with no real purpose.
I think you’re lonely. You like the idea of having someone around. Especially someone with actual intelligence, who is interested in your books.
“You’re delusional.”
A sardonic laugh echoed around his mind, merging with the distant, ever-present screams of his souls.Insult me all you want. You’re just insulting yourself.
He ground his teeth. Paper. He needed paper. A fresh piece. Every sheet here was covered in scribbles that had seemed terribly important at the time but were now meaningless. He didn’t have the energy to read them and try to jog his memory about what they meant.
Feeling eyes on him, his head snapped up again, and he found Suyin still watching him. His eyes narrowed with warning. He was in a foul mood, and she was an easy target.
He hated that she’d so easily figured out what he wanted and used it to coerce him into giving her whatshewanted. He was tempted to throw her back in the dungeon out of spite. He dared her with his eyes to challenge him now. See where it got her.
She stared back with a calculating expression that was not timid enough for his liking. But a moment later she dropped her gaze, focusing her attention back on her book.
He relaxed slightly. She was a pain in the ass, but at least she knew when to back down.
He returned his attention to the mess on his desk, continuing to shuffle papers around, looking for one that wasn’t filled on both sides with scribbling. Somewhere here he had a stack of blank paper he’d been steadily working through. He was sure there were at least a few sheets left, but he couldn’t fucking find them.
Growling with frustration, he continued sorting papers, his tail flicking with his growing irritation. He swept a pile onto the floor when he couldn’t see properly, knocking over a cup of pencils in the process.
A light throat clearing had his head snapping up.
Suyin stood on the other side of his desk.
“What?” he snapped.
She lifted her hand. In it was the stack of blank paper he’d been trying to find. “I saw this on the other table and thought it might be what you were looking for.”
He clenched his jaw and shot her the most furious glare known to man. To her credit, she didn’t so much as twitch. There was no smug look on her face, no mocking smile, nothing to push him over the edge.
Slowly, he stretched out a hand and snatched the papers from her grip. He said nothing, waiting for her to react.
She didn’t. She just turned and walked calmly back to where she’d been sitting, careful to avoid the sigil on her way.
He watched her lower herself to the floor and pull the grimoire back into her lap. She started to read, long black hair falling over her face. Several seconds later, she lifted a hand to tuck it behind her ear. An ear covered in piercings—rings and studs and all manner of metal things.
His head tilted.
She turned the page. The movement jostled the hair, and it slipped forward over her face like a curtain. She tucked it again, revealing that tiny decorated ear once more.
She was such an odd creature. So breakable. But strangely resilient at the same time.
She glanced up and caught him staring at her. Their eyes met, and hers flared slightly. She swallowed and tucked the hair behind her ear again, though it hadn’t fallen forward yet. Color rose to her cheeks, subtle on her lightly tanned skin.
Her gaze darted back to her book, but he had the distinct impression she wasn’t reading this time. She shifted positions slightly. She was too aware of him watching her to focus, and that gave him a measure of satisfaction. He liked making her uncomfortable.
Satisfied, he finally dropped his gaze to the stack of blank paper in his hand. He had no memory of putting it on the other table, and he could easily have spent an hour furiously searching before he located it.
His clouded, fractured mind was his own worst enemy, but he didn’t have any way to correct it. He simply managed it as best he could.
He stood and grabbed one of the pencils from the floor, not bothering to pick the rest up. He felt Suyin’s eyes on him the moment he moved, but she was careful to keep her head down as if she was still reading.
She was watching him, but she didn’t want him to know it. Why this pleased him, he wasn’t sure.
Sitting once more, he tried to force his scrambled mind to focus. The stress was tightening his shoulders, and the exhaustion made his eyes burn. In the back of his mind, as they always did, his souls screamed for mercy. He ignored them.
But they were still there. They were always there.
