Suyin distracted him from his goals and hindered his progress. He’d come this far, after so many long years, and he couldn’t throw it all away now. This was bigger than either of them. He had to do whatever it took—whateverit took—to finish this. The very fate of the underworld depended on it.
And now he wondered, if he hadn’t allowed her to distract him, would he have figured out his mistake, identified the missing link, much sooner? Because a part of him balked at the idea. A part of him rejected it the minute it rose to mind. A part of him wanted to refuse to even entertain it.
But the spell had failed, and now he had no choice but to consider it. And as he did, he knew it would work. In fact, he’d been a fool to think a spell this powerful could succeed without it. He had allowed his attachment to her to distract him from the truth.
He’d said it himself, not long ago, when he’d been teaching Suyin about Sheolic magic.
Sacrificing a person the caster has bonded to is one of the most powerful offerings in all of magic … If the desire for the success of the spell is great enough, they will utilize it. If they do not, all their other sacrifices will never measure up to that amount of potential potency, and they will unknowingly cripple themself.
That was what he’d done, hadn’t he? Crippled himself. By forming a bond with Suyin, he had sabotaged his own spell. And now, to make it work, he had to sever that attachment in the most final, irrevocable way.
Time was running out. It was now or never.
This time, he would do what had to be done.
He closed his eyes, found the part of himself that he’d given free reign these last days—the part that was full of desire, the part that allowed him to relax and feel contentment—and he sealed it away behind an impenetrable mental wall. Just as he’d done to his fear and doubt. Just as he’d done to all the weakest parts of himself.
When he was done, he opened his eyes and reached out, jostling Suyin gently back to wakefulness.
She jerked upright, eyes snapping open. They widened when they saw his face.
“Suyin—”
“Shit, Murmur!” To his vast surprise, she tossed the book aside and launched herself into his arms, seizing him in an embrace so tight, he nearly fought to draw breath. “Thank fuck.”
Stunned, he slowly wrapped his arms around her, completing the strange embrace and patting her back awkwardly. His stomach suddenly felt like a sword had been stuck through it.
She seemed to sense his discomfort and pulled back a moment later. “You’re okay.”
“Yes.” He set her apart from him, needing distance.
“Your face looks fucked. Jesus.”
“It always does when I do powerful magic.”
“Do you pass out every time you attempt that spell?”
“No. I’m often weakened, but this was the first time I’ve lost consciousness.” He scowled. “It should have worked.”
“Why didn’t it?”
He hesitated, jaw shifting. “I’m still missing something.”
“Do you know what it is?”
“No,” he lied, frowning at the way his stomach churned. “I need to do more research.”
“Still?” She blew out a breath. “Fuck. Where do we even begin researching that? Who would even have the kind of information we need?”
His jaw clenched. “There will be no ‘we’ this time.”
She blinked. “Why not?”
The furrow in her brow, the confusion in her eyes … She truly looked dismayed by his words.Foolish witch. Didn’t they teach you never to trust a demon?
“I’ve decided to grant your request, Suyin.”
“What request?”
