“I … What’s funny?”
“I knew it,” he said. “I just … Jessie Jane, I kept thinking thatlove seemed terrible. That it was hard. Because every time I tried to fit myself into my family, it was like pulling teeth. And I associated love with that feeling. And then my brother Carson got married, and his wife died. And then he and Perry just about took each other apart getting together, and … I’ve just seen love hurt a lot more than I’ve ever seen it do anything else. At least, that was what I was focusing on. But I realized today, that isn’t us. I think sometimes love is just right. And it can be easy. But when it comes into your life, you have to hold on to it.”
“Flynn,” she said, “that is so … I can’t believe you said that. Because my mom gave me Belle Hancock’s diary. My ancestor who used to be a prostitute in Jacksonville.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Oh?”
“It’s a good story. But the whole story is going to have to wait. Right now, the important this is that she said something about love. About how love is something you have to learn to hold in your hands. And not let it go. And when you have so many disappointments in your life, or you’ve been rejected, it’s hard to believe that it can be that simple. But I really think it can be. I just needed to be brave. And that was what I needed to tell you, whatever you were going to say to me. I had to tell you not to be afraid of being rejected.”
“I’m so sorry I made you afraid. You didn’t deserve that. You have been nothing but wonderful. Nothing but a miracle. You understand me in ways no one else does. And you make me understand myself. I just thought love always had to be a fight. And like maybe that was the way it was going to be for me. Because of how I was born, or just … But it’s not, is it? Not for us. It’s not going to be like that for us.”
“No.”
“Do you know why I never hit on you? Why I fought with you instead of …”
“Fucking me?”
“Exactly that.”
“Tell me.”
“Because it was always going to be this. And I think that scared me most of all. Because I wasn’t ready yet. To look at all the things I’ve been through. To really dig into all the stuff I felt about myself. I just spent my whole life feeling there was something fundamentally wrong with me. Like I wasn’t good enough. And that was why I had to fight so hard to be loved. But I’ve been going over all the things I said to Michael, and some things my mom said to me this morning. It was never me. I didn’t put myself in this situation. It was the people around me. And the whole goddamned town. If they didn’t make it so hard, it wouldn’t be. But we understand each other. And that’s why it’s easy. We are not trying to protect ourselves or consolidate our power to make ourselves look better. We just want each other. We accept each other. More than that, we really like each other.”
She laughed. “I do. I like you so much.”
“I like you so much that I love you. We’ve always been more the same than different, no matter how much we didn’t want to admit it. Just two battered and bruised outlaws who want somebody to love them. For who they are.” He laughed. “This is not my forte. Austin is a writer. He would do a way better job of professing his love than me.”
“What about Carson?”
“By all accounts, Carson kind of made a mess of it. But he seems to be doing okay now.”
“Well, good thing I don’t care what either of them would do. I only care about you.”
“Me too. That’s all I care about.”
The door to the bar opened just as Flynn leaned in to kiss her, and his lips were hovering over hers when Cassidy shrieked, “Jessie Jane! You won!”
Her eyes flew wide, and her stomach dropped. But then Flynn smiled. “I know I did,” she said.
Because she had. Whatever the result of the election, she would’ve won. So she kissed him instead of cheering. Kissed him, even as the crowd inside the bar went wild.
And when they parted, they both looked into the bar. “You’re going to be the first outlaw mayor.”
“And you’re going to be my first man. But first you have to make an honest woman out of me.”
“I don’t want to make an honest woman out of you. I want you to stay exactly the way you are. I’ll marry you all the same, though.”
And right then she knew exactly what she wanted. Flynn Wilder, forever.
She had always thought of herself as a collection of rather toxic traits. But somehow, they had all led her to this moment. To victory, but more importantly, to Flynn.
So maybe there was something just right about her after all.
With that realization, a lifetime of feeling put together wrong just faded away.
Flynn took her hand and led her into The Watering Hole, and the whole town cheered.
“You did it,” Cassidy said, bouncing around the room.
