“I’m supporting my girlfriend.”
“Are you? Blood should be thicker than water.”
“Oh well, then. How convenient that suddenly I’m blood, Michael, because generally speaking, you can take me or leave me. And so I guess this time I made the decision myself. Is that what bothers you?”
“It’s because you’re jealous of Danielle and me, and you always have been. Why wouldn’t you be? We grew up in town in a beautiful house and you grew up in that shithole with that crazy old man of yours. We had both of our parents. I understand why you wanted to be part of our family.”
“You really don’t.”
Because he couldn’t deny that he had. But it just wasn’t for the reason Michael thought.
“Well, you got something out of it. You got Grandpa to leave you that land.”
“Don’t,” he said. “I had a relationship with him. I loved him. That he left the land to me wasn’t anything I expected.”
“I have a hard time believing that.”
“Of course you do. Because scheming to get the land is what you would do. It’s what you would care about. I don’t care about the same things. We are not the same. You love that I’m different from you. An outsider.” He tried to turn away again.
“She just didn’t want you. You realize that, right? But Mom is a good person, so she felt guilty about it. She was always trying to include you in family things, but you were just too much of a mess. You don’t fit. And you never did.”
Flynn felt dizzy, as if he was in some kind of time warp. This was the most juvenile tantrum he had ever witnessed in his life. The worst thing was that it hurt. It really did. It hit him right between the ribs, slid right where he was most vulnerable. Got at the thing he had always been afraid of. He just wasn’t wanted. He wasn’t enough. No matter how hard he tried, that love would always be out of his reach.
“Okay,” he said.
“What?”
“Okay. There’s nothing I can do about it, Michael. Do you want me to cry over it? Two people fucked thirty-one years ago, and I’ve been paying for it ever since. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t ask to have to deal with you. I didn’t ask to have to deal with your sister. I don’t deserve your resentment. I sure as hell don’t deserve this tirade. This is bullshit.”
Nothing had ever brought him more clarity than this moment. Part of him had always feared it.
To have the truth shoved in his face. So that there was no more plausible deniability. To have the thin veneer of resentment pulled back so that he actually had to hear how much everyone hated him. How much of an imposition he was.
But the truth was, he hadn’t asked to be born. And the two people who should have been the adults had done a piss-poor job of dealing with the situation. Maybe his mother hadn’t wanted him, but then she should have been clear on that. Signed away her parental rights, or something. Or maybe just have been a better mother. Because the simple truth was, she couldn’t have hated him when he was a baby.
He was the consequence of his parents’ mistakes, but they had made him live with the consequences, instead of paying the price themselves. His dad had done the same with all his children. And his mother had simply run away, taking no responsibility for him.
Only Austin had done that. Carson.
And here was Michael, acting as if Flynn’s existence was some kind of burden, when it had never really affected him. He’d grown up in a beautiful house. He had both of his parents.
“If I have so little, then why the hell are you so obsessed with me?” Flynn asked. He turned away again, this time decisively, and got in line for coffee. His brother did not follow him.
Rage churned through his veins.
And churned and churned.
He brought the coffee cup over to Jessie, along with a bag that had a donut in it.
“You don’t look so great,” she said.
“I’m fine,” he growled.
“You sound like you’re ready to commit murder. But okay.”
He worked on smiling again. On getting his head back in the game. He was here for Jessie. This had nothing to do with his stupid brother.
“I’m not going to commit murder. If I was going to murder that little weasel, I would’ve done it years ago.”
