“I appreciate you coming.”
“Of course I did,” she said, looking past Jessie’s shoulder. “I would never miss something so important.”
She wouldn’t. That was true. Mom had difficulty with certain things, but she was always there to support her kids as best she could. It didn’t always look like the way other people’s mothers supported their children, but it didn’t mean that her love was any less. It didn’t mean that she meant it less. Hell, she had been involved in the Wild West Show for all those years even though it was hard for her. Hard for her to be in front of people, hard for her to perform just because it was time.
But she did it. Every time. And it really was an incredible testament to how much she loved Jessie and West and their dad.
“You’re a good mom,” Jessie said.
“Thank you,” Lucinda said. And Jessie couldn’t tell if that was something her mom had ever worried about. If it was something she had been waiting to hear. She couldn’t tell much of anything from the interaction, so she would just have to accept it for what it was.
She had ridden over with Flynn, and she got into his truck to go over to the Wild West Show.
“Sorry about your mom,” she said.
“Really? That’s the first thing you have to say to me after that amazing debate performance? You did great, Jess. We don’t need to talk about my mom.”
“But this is hard for you. And it’s a lot. And …”
“All of the above. But I knew it would be.”
He forced a smile at her.
“Did you?” she asked.
“I maybe didn’t know all the ways that it would be hard. But I knew it would be. Because that’s just … family.”
“My mom does her best,” Jessie said. “I don’t know if I ever really appreciated that until tonight. She came out even though it was hard. She was there with everyone, and she’ll probably even come to the bonfire for a while. I wanted her to be like other moms. She’s not. She’s her. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me, though.”
“But you were probably still hurt by some of her … the way she is.”
“Well, yes. It’s hard when you’re sort of at the mercy of your parents’ choices. But you know, I would rather have an unorthodox upbringing with people who loved me than …”
“Whatever the hell is going on with my mom?”
“I think she loves you. I wasn’t even actually meaning your mom. It’s just … I can’t imagine being a parent. Can you? Have you ever thought about it?”
He snorted. “No. I can’t say that I have.”
“Well, maybe I would be terrible at it. Maybe trying to do the best thing for me would be the worst thing for my kid. Because in my head, I would want to do everything super normal. I would want them to have a nice house on a nice street. I would want them to go to school in brand-new clothes. But what if they turn out to like vintage? And what if they aren’t made for regular schooling, and they really wish they were homeschooled or something? I bet my mom was suffering a lot from her own childhood.”
“She could’ve told you that.”
“I guess. And I could’ve also told her when I was uncomfortable. Or didn’t like something.”
“Jessie, you were caught between a home life that was pretty happy and a world that treated you like there was something wrong with the house you grew up in. I don’t know how you were supposed to feel about any of it. Or how you were supposed to navigate it. It’s unfair to be too hard on yourself. You were a kid. People were mean to you. It’s as simple as that.”
She nodded slowly. “They were the enemy. Like we talked about. If other people had been willing to make life outside of my house softer on me, home would have been fine. Good, even. It was the people that insisted on making everything about me wrong. Just because I was different. I don’t know that I innately wanted to fit in. I think I just wanted to have friends.”
“Sorry this town sucks,” he said.
“Well, me too. I’m sorry that the LeFevres are so … them.”
“Me too.”
They didn’t speak for the rest of the drive, and when they pulled in, the number of cars in the lot just about made Jessie dizzy. There were so many people who’d come out to celebrate.
They started calling for a speech, and she got ready to stand up, but Flynn did it first. “This is a great turnout tonight. But remember, you have to show up on Election Day. Drop that ballot in the box, folks. And elect Jessie Jane as your new mayor. For all the reasons that you heard tonight, and all the reasons you have yet to discover. And also, because my sister sucks.”
