“I shouldn’t have come,” I whisper.
“You absolutely should have. Whatever you two are fighting about, fix it,” Paz says.
“You know, I think I’m starting to appreciate the fact that Enrique never spoke to me,” I mutter as I get out of the car.
I walk over to Emmanuel. He doesn’t look up. He’s sitting in front of a grave. I drop down next to him on the grass. The words “I was loved” arewritten in script on the stone. That’s all. No name, no dates, just that one phrase.
“I don’t know what I did,” I whisper. “But I don’t want to cause you pain.”
This gets him to finally look at me. “You don’t trust me,” he says.
My brows furrow. “Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t. The first thing you did when you woke up was check your clothes. You thought I’d do to you what those sick fucks did,” he grits out.
“It’s a habit. I do that even if I’m alone, E. It wasn’t because you were there. I trust you more than I should. I’ve never fallen asleep with anyone besides Charlotte or Rachel. If I didn’t trust you, I would never have fallen asleep in your arms,” I try to explain. “I warned you that I was messed up. I told you I was broken. You didn’t listen.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Having Evie check herself after falling asleep in my arms made my stomach fucking sink. She doesn’t trust me. She thought that I’d do to her what they did. The sick fucks who drugged and took advantage of her. I’ve gone above and beyond to show her that I’m not that kind of fucking monster. Despite being who I am, I don’t want to be that person to her. I never want her tofear me.
She’s saying it’s all in her head, that she’s broken. I don’t believe it. She’s not fucking broken. I know she doesn’t trust me. I know the first thought that went through her head when she woke up was:Did he touch me?
“It’s okay to not trust me, Evie. It’s smart even,” I tell her. “Because I am a monster far worse than those who hurt you.”
“You aren’t a monster, and I trust you more than most people,” she says.
“A few days ago, I ordered the extinction of an entire bloodline. And just this morning, I burned a woman to death because she purposely burned your store down. Don’t fool yourself into thinking I’m anything but who I am.”
“You… what? Amy?” Evie gasps. “Emmanuel, I didn’t ask you to do that.”
“I know, and I also know you wouldn’t. But I’m not the kind of guy who just lets things slide. I will always put you first, and if someone fucks with you, they will have to deal with my full wrath,” I tell her.
“The body count is getting out of hand, E. We are not good for each other. Whatever this is, we should stop.”
“We can’t stop,” I admit. “You are mi alma. I found you and that’s not something I’m going toforget or let go of. The only way this ends is with one of us right here. Dead and buried.”
“You want me to die? Like she did?” Evie asks. There’s no fear in her voice, more curiosity.
“If I wanted you to die, you would be dead,” I say. “I prefer you alive.”
When it’s just the two of us talking, everything seems almost normal. I’ve never been able to talk to anyone the way I can with Evie.
“Okay, because I’m not really ready to die yet.” She smiles. “And if I do, I’m going to come back and haunt your ass forever.”
“I’d welcome the company.” I laugh. “You’d be the fucking prettiest ghost there ever was.”
“I know,” she says, not in a conceited kind of way, more like she’s bored with hearing about her looks.
“You don’t like people telling you you’re beautiful,” I state.
“I’ve heard it my entire life.” Evie shrugs. “I know I’m pretty, but sometimes, I wish I weren’t.”
“Your looks are not what make you beautiful, Evie. It’s your heart. It’s the goodness that shines right from your soul.” I get a message from Paz telling me they found the guy who shot at Carlo and Jazzy. I quickly pocket my phone, stand, and look to Evieagain. “You should go and see Charlotte. I’ll find you later.”
“Are you still pissed off at me?” she asks. “Not that I care. You can be as mad as you want. It doesn’t bother me one bit.”
I smirk. She cares. If she didn’t care, she never would have asked Paz to bring her to me. “I was never pissed at you, mi alma. I’m pissed at myself for not being enough for you.” I press my lips to hers. Then I turn around and walk in the opposite direction.
