Sometimes I think they know. That they can see under the mask. But they don’t. No one bothers to look any deeper than surface level. Well, nobody other than Rachel and Charlotte. But even they don’t know the full extent of my ugliness. Charlotte knowssome. Rachel knows even less than that. It’s a burden I choose to keep to myself. It’s easier that way.
I pair my outfit with a cute red-bottomed ankle boot. Running my fingers through my hair one more time, I check out my reflection from the back. Once I’m satisfied with the outcome, I walk out of the bedroom and go in search of Charlotte.
It’s time to show this town how southern girls turn it up.
Chapter Four
Iassisted in ridding this earth of a pig last night. Louie’s girlfriend is a runaway bride. Of course, I already knew that part. Her ex turned up looking for her, and when he found her, he made the mistake of leaving a bruise on her, and Louie would never let that slide.
I understand his motives. Me? I just went along for the ride. Besides, killing cops is a fun little hobby of mine. It wasn’t until I watched Louieshove a syringe into the asshole’s arm that I started having issues with the situation. I was helping Carlo hold the fucker down, but all I could see was Laura on that bathroom floor…
It took everything in me not to fucking crack right then. I held myself together though, because that’s what we do. One lesson my father taught me that I’m thankful to him for. No matter the situation, never let your feelings show. I mastered that after I lost Laura. It was easy, because other than her loss, I didn’t feel a goddamn thing.
As soon as I parted ways with Louie, I ditched my men and came here. It’s where I’ve been sitting all fucking night. In front of the unmarked grave, knowing that Laura’s decomposing body is right below me. No one knows what happened to her. I didn’t tell a single person. My father assumed I killed her and I let him think that. Until I knew he was about to take his last breath and I told him the truth. She killed herself.
Not that it matters. She might have pushed that needle into her arm, but she did it because of me. I never found out how she knew what I was supposed to do. I always suspected it was my father, but without solid proof, that’s all it is. A suspicion.
I don’t know why I come here. To punish myself? Remind myself of my failures? Whatever thereason, it’s calming being here with her. It took years for me to realize that whatever Laura and I had, it wasn’t love. We were kids. Infatuation, sure. She was and still is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. But she didn’t love me.
She killed herself to escape the reality of who she was dating. She didn’t know who my father was when we first met, who I was destined to be. I told her the truth about six months later. She didn’t seem too fazed at first, but then she’d start to mention little things. About getting out, running away…
At the time, I didn’t think much on it. Now, I know she didn’t want me to be who I was born to be. Fuck, I didn’t want to become who I am today. But this is real life, and I wouldn’t change who I am for anyone.
I like that she’s dead. I mourned her at first, until realization hit me one day. She’s dead. No one else can ever have her. She was mine. She is mine and mine alone. Nobody knows she’s here but me. I don’t think anything else has ever been completely mine before, and I fucking like owning it. Her.
I get why my father fought so fucking hard to maintain his spot at the top of the food chain. The money, the power, it’s addictive. The more I have, the more I want. And I’m not about to let any motherfucker take it from me.
My palm wraps around the handle of my gun the moment I hear the crunching of leaves behind me.
“Jefe, I got you some food.” My second-in-command comes into view as he places a Styrofoam box in front of me and then a cup of coffee.
“Gracias.” I look down at the box. I’m not hungry. I do pick up the coffee cup, though. “How’d you find me?” I ask him.
“It’s my job to know where you are,” Paz says, sitting down beside me.
“Did you find anything else out about Charlotte?” I need to know who this woman is, considering my friend was all too willing to kill a cop for her. I need to know everything about her. I will not let my friend fall on a sword he doesn’t see coming.
“She’s clean, jefe,” Paz says. “A real-life southern woman.”
“Good. I’d hate to see what’d happen to this city if Louie got his heart stomped on,” I grunt.
“Your mother wants to see you…”
“Of course, she does,” I groan. The last thing I want to deal with right now is my mother. “She in town?”
“At the house.” Paz nods.
“I’ll deal with her later. I gotta see Lailani,” I tell him.
“Need me to come?” he asks, then adds, “Whatam I saying? It’s Lailani, of course you do.” He shakes his head.
“I’m not scared of her.” I laugh.
“You should be,” he mutters.
“Make sure everything is set up for the drop. We’re leaving here first thing tomorrow.”
Now that I know Charlotte is legit and not a threat, I don’t need to stay. I do need to check in on Lailani and make sure she’s still focused on her job, though.
