“Are you?”
“No. I’m confused. I’m upset, but I’ve survived shit all my life. I’m not a quitter,” she says.
“Good, then fight. For your happiness. For me. I know you feel this. I know you want this. I also know you’re scared.” I sigh. “I don’t ever want to see you break, Evie. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Then stop killing innocent girls,” she hisses.
“I will do my best to ensure there are no witnesses in the future. But this line of work, it’s messy, and I can’t make guarantees. I also won’t lie and tell you what you want to hear.” I run a hand through my hair as I lower myself onto the edge of the bed. “I’ve had this conversation before.”
“What conversation?”
“The one where you don’t want me to continue the job, the one where you want me but not the lifestyle that comes with me.” I look up at Evie.
“You had this conversation with her?” she asks.
I nod my head. Laura wanted us to run together.
“I’m not her, E. I would never ask you to leave your lifestyle… or your job. I just don’t know how to come to terms with it in my own mind,” she says.
“I know you’re not her. Losing her hurt, Evie. But losing you? That fucking tore me apart and it wasn’t even real,” I admit.
“What are you talking about?”
“Last night, I had a nightmare. I found you on the floor. Your wrists were slashed. There was so much blood.” I try to shake the images from my head. “It was so real.”
“E, I’m not going to do anything like that. I promise. Like I said, I might be broken, irreparably so, but I’m not going to give up,” Evie says.
“You are not broken. You are fucking perfect.” I stand and walk over to her. Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her into my chest. “My father was right.”
“About what?”
“Love does make you weak. I’d lose it all for you. If I had to go to war, I would wager everything. Every single fucking thing, for you.”
“I’m scared of how much I’m falling in love with you.”
I pull back. Evie has never uttered those words. I’ve said them to her, but she has never said them back. I smile down at her. “Well, that won’t do. We can’t both be scared.”
“Pfft, nothing scares you. You’re the leader of the De La Sangre Cartel,” she says.
“You scare me.”
“Maybe we can just be scared together?” Evie suggests.
“Together,” I agree. I lean down and press my lips to hers. When I pull back, I push my luck. “So, will you come home with me now?”
“I can’t. Charlotte got pizza and wine. And we have plans for tomorrow,” Evie says.
“I don’t like it when you tell me no,” I grunt.
“That’s because not enough people in your life tell you no, E. Don’t worry. You’ll get used to hearing the word.” Evie smiles.
“Don’t ever cry over something I’ve done again.” I take hold of her hand. “I don’t want to be the reason for your tears.”
“Then don’t give me a reason to cry.”
I left Evie to have pizza with Charlotte, while Louie dragged me into his office. I’m waiting for whatever bullshit he has to say, but the fucker likes to make a show and dance about everything. He takes his time pouring two glasses of whiskey.
Handing one to me, he walks around his desk and sits down. “When she saw what you did, it made her sick. Physically. She ran to the bathroom to throw up,” he says.
