“You okay?” I asked softly.
“Wow,” was her only reply and I let out a relieved chuckle.
“That doesn’t exactly answer my question, darling. I was rough. Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you?”
She frowned up at me. “That was perfect, Rafe Sterling. I’m not made of glass.”
I grinned then levered up to push off the bed. “Wait there,” I told her, not fully trusting this Clara that had promised to stay with me. I stalked to the bathroom to grab a flannel and wet it with warm water. When I came back, Clara was in the bed with the covers hiked up to her chin. She was flushed and some embarrassment had crept into her expression.
“You didn’t stay,” I accused as I stalked towards her.
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not staying splayed out on the bed naked in the cold light of day.”
I pulled the covers back and reached to part her legs. She squeaked.
“What are you doing?”
“I didn’t use a condom,” I said as I cleaned her with theflannel before throwing it onto the side table and moving fully into the bed to take her in my arms.
“Oh,” she replied, stiffening in my arms as I rested back against the pillows, pulling her onto my chest so that her head was resting under my chin and her leg was thrown over mine. “I’m sorry.”
I chuckled again. “One day you’ll learn not to apologise for shit that’s not your fault. Clara, the condom ismyfuck up. I’m clean. I was tested a couple of months before we met, and I haven’t slept with anyone since then.”
“You haven’t?” she asked in surprise.
I frowned. “Of course not.”
“Didn’t you and Ophelia? I mean, I assumed…”
“There’s been nobody but you, Clara.”
“Oh.”
“So we don’t have to worry about that. But I’m sorry I didn’t protect you pregnancy-wise.”
“Pregnancy?”
“Yes, Clara. Contraception. The possibility of a pregnancy doesn’t bother me, but…”
“Oh, I… I’m on the pill. I started it back when we… I mean… when we started, er… and I thought I’d carry it on. Just in case.”
“Okay,” I said, kissing the top of her head.
“It wouldn’t bother you if I were to get pregnant?”
I paused, not wanting to say the wrong thing and also really not wanting to sound like too much of a caveman. “No, Clara. I love you. I’d be bloody ecstatic if you were pregnant. But of course, I wouldn’t want you to be upset. And it was irresponsible of me to?—”
“You love me?” The tentative quality in her voice broke my heart. How this amazing woman had ever been made to feel unlovable made me furious. I tamped down the familiarflash of anger towards her useless fucking family. Those bastards never deserved to breathe the same air as Clara. How dare they ever make her feel she had to hide, make her feel like she had to be small? And how fucking dare they lay a finger on her? How could anyone hurt anything so precious?
“I love everything about you, Clara,” I told her as I shifted us and then flipped her onto her back, hovering over her to search her uncertain expression. “I love the way you feel, the way you smell, the way your nose crinkles when you disagree with me but don’t want to say, the way you nurture the kids in your class, the way you love my son, the way you eat Branston Pickle straight out of the jar, the way you bite both of your lips when you’ve done something you know will piss me off.” She rolled her eyes but there was a smile on her face. I grinned back at her, then my smile faded as I held her gaze. “I love your quiet humour, your kindness, the way you stand up for what you believe even if doing it terrifies you, your strength?—”
“I’m not st?—”
“Darling, you’re the strongest person I know,” I told her firmly. “What you did to save your brother and your mother will have saved other people too. The ripples will be felt throughout London.Youdid that. And you’ve protected your brother his whole life. There are very few people with that level of resilience, with that strength.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think you see me clearly.”
“It’s you who doesn’t see yourself clearly,” I told her firmly. “But we’ll have plenty of time to turn that around. You’ve agreed to stay here with me, remember?”
