“Then why did you recuse yourself?” he asked, and I could just about detect a small shake to his voice. The kid was losing it.
“I had to recuse myself, Zachary,” I said, my harsh tone softening. “I didn’t have a choice. Clara would have known that.”
Zachary tore his hands through his hair and looked up at the ceiling before looking back at me and Poppy.
“Couldn’t you have just pretended you didn’t know her? Couldn’t you have played along to keep her safe?”
“Zachary, I’m sorry but I had no idea she wasn’t safe. Clara did not tell me who she was. She didn’t warn me what was going to happen in that courtroom. And honestly, I don’t think shewantedme to play along. I bet you know that too.”
He deflated even more then. “No, no, she wouldn’t,” he muttered. He blew out a long breath. “I don’t know what to do,” he said, his voice small now and the shake in it much more obvious. “I snuck out of my window to come here. They’ll lose their minds when they know I’m gone.” His eyes had reddened slightly and his lower lip was trembling. In that moment he looked much more like the child he was than before.
“I don’t have anyone else but Clara.” His voice cracked on her name. When a rogue tear fell down his cheek, he swiped it away furiously, his face reddening in embarrassment. “Mum checked out years ago. You know what Dad and my brothers are. Clara’s the only one who cares about me. I can’t lose her.”
That last sentence was like a shot of ice through my veins. For a moment, the sheer panic made my chest too tight to speak, but I managed to force out the next.
“Zachary, why are you talking about losing Clara?” I gritted out.
He paced away from us and then back again, his hands still ripping through his hair. “She thought when she did theBig Terrible Thing that it would happen quickly. But then it was months of hearing nothing. Freddie was arrested for his dumbfuckery but the rest of them were fine, still free to do whatever fucked up shit they wanted, including dragging Clara and me to that stupid trial. But it’s all fucked because they’re still free, and they can still hurt her. And now… something’s wrong. Dad’s been twitched since Freddie’s arrest, but it’s been worse since the trial.” Zachary swallowed as panic lit his eyes. “If the Big Terrible Thing comes out then…” he trailed off. His face was almost unnaturally pale now.
“What’s the Big Terrible Thing?” Poppy asked.
Zachary swallowed again and I decided to reply for him.
“Clara is an informant for the police,” I told her. “She told them how to access the encrypted messaging network that the Masons communicate through on the dark web. There’s a huge case being built now against her family that all hinges on the information Clara gave to them by allowing them to access that network.”
“She snitched,” Zachary whispered, as if someone might overhear him. He sounded terrified now. “In our world, you nevereversnitch. But it was the only way out we could see.”
His shoulders sagged more and another tear slipped down his cheek, making him look even younger.
“My dad’s not a good man. He… he hurts Mum. Like really hurts her. He’s broken her, I think. It’s like the lights are on, but no one’s home most of the time, but that doesn’t seem to stop Dad. And Clara…” He trailed off. The tears were coming thick and fast now. “She’s always been so bloody brave. B-b-but he hurt her too. He hurt her loads and I couldn’t stop it. I’m not strong enough to stop him. Clara hadto leave, but she comes back for me when I ask her. A few months ago she came over to help with my revision. I’d begged her to come. I’m such a selfish shit, but I begged her. And then Dad… it wasn’t good.”
“Here you go, mate,” I said, handing Zachary a handkerchief as one of my hands landed on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. He wiped his face with it, sniffing back the rest of his tears. “That’s why Clara was hurt at the start of term, wasn’t it?”
He nodded, avoiding eye contact and shuffling his feet, but what he didn’t do was shrug my hand off his shoulder.
“Yeah,” he said in a hoarse voice. “And it was my fault.”
“Hey,” I said firmly, taking hold of both his shoulders now. “It wasn’t your fault.Youdidn’t hurt her.”
“I should’ve been able to protect her,” he whispered. “But I’ve never cared about all that muscle-building crap, and I’ve never been a good fighter. I?—”
“It’s not your job to protect her, Zachary. You’re a child, and even if you weren’t, there was nothing you could have done.”
He shook his head, still avoiding eye contact. Poppy came up next to him to lay her hand on his back.
“I should have stopped her doing the Big Terrible Thing,” he whispered. “But I was scared. I didn’t want to live there anymore, and we thought this could be a way out. Plus, we thought maybe we could protect Mum. They needed to be put away, and this time it needed to be done properly.”
“What Clara did was brave,” I told him. “You and Clara have been brave for a long, long time. I know you’re used to having to deal with everything by yourself. I know you think it’s just you and your sister against your family but that’s not true now, understand me?”
“Y-y-you mean it?” he whispered, meeting my gaze then, his big brown eyes so much like his sister’s that my chest felt tight.
“I love your sister, mate,” I told him. “I made a mistake in that courthouse. A really fucking stupid mistake, but I won’t do that again. I won’t let either of you down ever again. I promise. You need to start trusting me so I can help get her back. I know you don’t know me very well, but Iampowerful. My family is powerful.Verypowerful, Zachary. I won’t let them hurt Clara and I’m going to make sure they either go to prison or something else happens to them. I have the power to do either. Understand me?”
“Something else…?” he started to say then swallowed thickly. I gave him a firm nod.
“Yes, something else, Zachary. Something else which would render them unable to hurt you or your sister ever again. I have resources neither of you can even imagine.”
“You’ll get her back?” he whispered.
