It was an easy way to control, to manage, and to direct a situation in the way I wanted it.
And yet, for the first time in a long time, I feared the fear I could instill.
“Fuck, baby.” I shook my head. “I won’t hurt you.”
“Right.” She rolled her lips between her teeth as she closed her eyes. “I know. I actually really believe that even though I probably shouldn’t, Jameson. Still, you belong in a world that youcando just that without repercussions, it seems. And I don’t think you’d even feel bad about it.”
“Feel bad about hurting you? I’d be fucking gutted, Mia.” I blurted it out without even thinking, but it was the truth. “Now, hurt someone for them coming after you or my daughter … I’drevelin that.”
“Maybe I’m scared for the others around us that piss you off, then.”
I nodded over and over again, trying not to care and shut off whatever I was feeling for her. “Right. As you should be.”
“Well, then …” She picked up the glass, accepting that wall I kept erecting between us, and turned to fill the cup before taking a long sip, letting me watch her swallow every drop of it. Then she patted my chest. “Time for us to go to bed, I think. Franny is going to be up bright and early and will probably want to go on an adventure if that’s now allowed.”
“Come to the country club with me tomorrow,” I blurted out. “We can do tennis and lunch again.”
“Um.” She frowned. Yep. I’d ripped the fucking wall back down myself. I couldn’t make up my damn mind. She frowned but begrudgingly said, “Of course. She likes to have you around if you can fit us into your schedule. She told me you used to go with her all the time.”
Suddenly, the need to explain bubbled out of me. “It’s not good for Franny to have me around much anymore. I’m the only parent she has left, so I have to do what’s right even when it’s hard.”
“Staying away from her is right?” She tilted her head, setting the glass down on the counter carefully, like she was thinking.
“You just reminded me that I can kill men, Mia.”
“And you argued that it was for your daughter.”
“Doesn’t make it right.”
“Maybe, but a daughter always needs her father to be there for her. You even more so since her mom isn’t.” Her voice almost shook as she said it. “Don’t step back and just blend in with the scenery, Jameson.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do … If something happens to me, I’m creating a space for her to be fine in. She won’t even miss me if—”
“She misses you now!” She shoved both hands into my chest. “She’s practically begging for time with you. The poor girl talked about you all day because she was happy you were finallythere. And you’re what? Being a good martyr by keeping your distance in case someone tries to blow your head off?”
She waited for an answer, not at all scared now. Instead, disgust with me was etched in her features as I struggled to find the right answer.
“Oh, get a grip and man up. You’ve got security on every damn side of this house. Are you that weak?”
“Diamonds aren’t weak.Adamantem infractum manet.”
“Great. Exactly.” She rolled her eyes as if the whole society, the most powerful one in the fucking world, was stupid too. “Then teach your daughter that. For as long as you’re here. Whether it’s you dying tomorrow—”
“I won’t.” Did she think I was incompetent?
She threw up her hands. “Or in fifty years. Because a daughter needs her father. And I’ll be damned if while I’m working here, that little girl doesn’t get everything she needs.”
With that, she stomped away from me without a backward glance while I stared at her retreating the whole way.
I had a feeling she wouldn’t be damned, because she was going to get everything for Franny come hell or high water.
As for me, I was damned either way.
Because Mia Darling standing up to me even while scared but for my daughter was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen.
Mia
IADMITIAVOIDEDeveryone the next day, telling Archer that I’d eat breakfast in my room after his daily tap on my door. Plus Ms. Prim and Mr. Bos needed me in their pathetic state. Misery loved company, right? Their wilting leaves matched my state of mind. I was a mess, my heart jumbled, and my emotions unchecked. I even kept Franny away from Rosy for snacks because I didn’t want to discuss anything.
