Then he got a text from Carter asking him if he wanted to meet up on Wednesday night, and John was back in orbit.
***
Three weeks later John was having drinks with Mike at the bar, the two of them taking over a booth in the back and ordering a pitcher of beer to share.
“I knew you were seeing someone,” Mike said, slamming his fist down on the table like some kind of happy Viking. John hadn’t meant to tell him about Carter, but Mike had wanted to know where he’d been over the past few weeks and he hadn’t accepted “around” as an answer.
“Is it serious? How many times have you seen him this week?”
John shifted under Mike’s eager stare, entirely sure he that he didn’t want to be having this conversation.
In the weeks since things with Carter went from zero to one hundred it felt like they’d been living in their own little world, and John was in no hurry to leave that world.
Reality was such a bitch.
“Three times,” he said, taking a sip of his beer just to have something to do. His mind flashed back to the last time he and Carter had met up and he couldn’t help but blush. Carter had dressed up in a full leather uniform, tall blat boots and tie and everything, and trussed John up tighter than a turkey. He’d then spent the night abusing John’s nipples and fucking him senseless, and it had been amazing.
“Okay,” Mike put his elbows on the table and leaned forward. He looked excited. “Soisit serious?”
The question landed like a punch to John’s solar plexus. It was something he’d been asking himself quite frequently, the thought buzzing in the back of his brain like an annoying bee, but he hadn’t worked up the courage to ask Carter.
What if he said no?
John was in too deep to want to risk hearing something like that.
“I don’t know,” he said, shrugging uncomfortably. “We haven’t talked about it.”
Carter had never retracted his initial statement that he only wanted something casual, but seeing each other three times a week for almost a month wasn’t casual.
Was it?
“Do you want it to be serious?” Mike asked. “I mean, you seem to be pretty into him. I’ve never seen you look thisenamored.”
Mike looked proud of his word choice, and John regretted buying him word of the day toilet paper for his birthday.
“I don’t know. I guess I like him a lot, but his life is pretty complicated.”
“Complicated how?” Mike asked.
“He’s kind of in the closet,” John said, figuring that that was the best way to put it. “I don’t know how a relationship would work. I mean… it’s not like he’s going to want me to meet his friends or family, and he doesn’t want to do things with me in public. There’s no future for us.”
John looked down at his drink as he spoke. The things he was saying were things that had been lingering at the back of his mind, but this was the first time he’d actually acknowledged them. A relationship with Carter was a dead end.
“That sucks,” Mike said, his voice uncertain. “So you don’t think he’d ever come out of the closet?”
John shook his head. There was no way. All he had to do was look at how Luke had initially reacted to the idea of a werewolf being attracted to humans to know what kind of a nightmare Carter would face if he came out.
“So are you going to break it off?”
John shook his head before he’d even thought about it. He wasn’t going to break it off. Carter might be a dead end, but John wasn’t getting out of the car until he crashed.
“That’s going to be tough,” Mike said. It was obvious he didn’t approve. “Isn’t dating a guy in the closet a little bit like going back into the closet yourself?”
“Maybe,” John conceded. “But I don’t care.”
Mike lifted his glass to his lips, looking out at the bar. When he turned his face back to John his eyebrows were lifted and he looked resigned.
“Well, I’m here for you if you need me. Just… try not to get hurt.”
John snorted and shook his head. It was way too late for that.
***
