He still was.
John’s greatest fear was that Carter would wake up tomorrow, alone with no one but John for company, and say that it wasn’t enough. That he’d go through with his original plan to use a spell to make himself normal.
John took a deep breath and reminded himself that Carter loved him. Even when he was with his pack, it was John his wolf wanted to be with.
Everything was going to be fine. It had to be.
“Okay. I’m going to change, and then I’m just going to stand here. I’m still me, so I’ll understand everything you’re saying—and I’ll be able to nod or shake my head to yes or no questions.”
John nodded. Carter had already told him all of this several times.
Carter bent at the waist, like he was touching his toes, and then all of a sudden John was looking at a wolf. He tried to pinpoint the moment the transformation had occurred, but he couldn’t. The whole thing had happened so much faster than he’d expected, and it left him a little flustered.
Carter stared at him, and John offered a tentative smile. The werewolf had been right. He was bigger than John had expected—a lot bigger. When John rose to his feet, Carter’s head was level with his chest, and he was massive.
“Wow,” John said, reaching out and sliding his hand down from Carter’s ear to the base of his neck. His fur was soft and thick, collared an even dark gray that shimmered in the light of the fire.
“You’re gorgeous,” John said, putting both hands on Carter’s body and digging his fingers into the soft fur. Carter leaned forward and pushed his head against John’s chest, the gentle nudge almost making him fall over.
John grinned. There was something awe-inspiring and amazing about standing in front of a creature so much stronger than yourself and being able to trust it implicitly.
“Your fur is so soft,” he commented, sliding his arms around Carter’s neck and hugging him. He buried his face in Carter’s soft fur, his face just inches away from Carter’s monstrously sharp teeth.
He hugged and petted Carter for a good twenty minutes, after which Carter darted back and crouched down and started wagging his tail.
John had no idea what he wanted.
“What are you doing?” he asked, tilting his head and laughing. Carter jumped forward, staying just out of reach, and then darted back and got into the same crouching position.
“You want to play?” John asked, crouching down too. Carter didn’t nod his head, but rather bounced forward and knocked John to the ground, and John laughed as the two of them started rolling around on the ground in a mock battle for dominance.
He’d seen this side of Carter before, but that was usually foreplay. This was just fun for its own sake.
“Okay, you win!” John called when Carter got him on his back, holding him down by simply lying on top of him. Carter’s huge tongue moved out of his mouth and he started licking John’s face, making his squirm and laugh and try to get away. Carter’s tongue was rough and wet, and it tickled. John was getting out of breath he was laughing so hard.
When Carter finally let him up John was gasping for breath, but still laughing. He pushed himself to his feet and brushed off his dirty clothes, getting his bearings.
Carter looked toward the woods and then back to John, almost like he was asking for permission to leave.
“You’re going for a run?” John asked, taking a seat by the fire. Carter nodded, the action exactly the same as when he was human, and walked next to him and pressed against his side.
John didn’t mind if Carter wanted to go out and explore for a while. He in no way expected him to stay by the tent and fire the whole night.
“Have fun,” John said, giving Carter a final stroke along his side. “I’ll just sit here and listen to my podcast and make s’mores.”
Carter gave him a look like he almost wanted to join him, but after a moment he turned around and ran off into the woods. He was fast, and once again John was in awe at how much power was contained in that massive body.
Digging into his bag, John found his phone and pressed play on the latest episode of the true crime serial he was listening to. The phone’s speakers were tinny and not optimal, but they were more than good enough for listening to a podcast. As he listened to the intro, he dug around in his bag for everything he’d need to make s’mores and instant coffee.
Somewhere in the distance, Carter let out a howl and unable to help himself John lifted his mouth to the sky and tried to replicate the sound. There was a brief silence, and then Carter was calling back to him. They called back and forth to each other a few times, but then John had to stop when he started to cough.
His throat wasn’t made to howl.
John spent the next hour gorging himself on Graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows as he drank his coffee and listened to his podcast. When Carter came trotting back into the clearing, tongue lolling out of his mouth and breathing hard, he turned off his phone and walked over to greet him.
“Have fun?” he asked, brushing his hand over Carter’s side. The wolf’s chest was heaving, and John wondered how far he’d run. Carter let out a small bark that John took as a yes.
After petting Carter for a while, hoping that he was enjoying himself and not missing his pack too badly, John found himself being herded into the small tent. Carter sat down right inside the opening, shooting a pointed look at the sleeping bag.
