The woman shakes, then nods her head. Her eyes are full of fear.
Riley had been sure they were going to kill the woman, despite what Noon had told her. For some reason what they are doing feels almost as bad.
Riley tries to keep this thought down – it’s more important than ever that she keeps her mind clear – but she could have sworn, just now, as she watched the blood fall through the air and patter gently onto the earth below – Riley could have sworn she saw the earth gently rise and fall. It looked like Nowhere was breathing.Or swallowing maybe. Yes, like something drinking, thinks Riley, hazy,after a long drought.She pinches her arm. She’s so tired that her vision stutters. It’s easy to get confused.
The house speaks and ticks around them, alive in the night. It would be easy to imagine a ghost here. But Riley sees that Nowhere House doesn’t remember anything human. It doesn’t care enough about people to hold on to them in that way. Riley will not see her father in this place.
Noon strokes Riley’s head. ‘Thank you for today.’ Noon sways. Her eyes close with tiredness. Dawn puts her arm around Noon.
‘I have to watch,’ Noon says. ‘It’s my place, it’s my job.’
‘Then I’ll stay with you too.’ Dawn brings out a container. The scent of mushrooms fills the air. Riley’s stomach cramps. It has been some time since she ate well.
‘Eat,’ Noon says softly to the woman. ‘We’re not going to kill you.’ Noon inserts a spoon gently into the woman’s mouth. She chokes and spits out the contents. She slumps forward, head hanging like a broken flower.
‘No,’ Cal hisses at Noon. ‘I won’t do it again.’
‘Then go.’ Her voice is gentle.
Cal picks up his flashlight and turns. He goes fast back through the broken hallway. Riley runs after him, following his light.
Cal is out of the front door ahead of Riley, his light moving away through the forest. Riley peers through the dark searching for the dancing beam. ‘Cal!’ she calls. ‘Please, stop.’ The light stills.
He is leaning against a tree, face hidden in his arms. His back heaves. His flashlight lies on the forest floor, lighting the briar leaves brilliant green. Riley puts a tentative hand on his back, one, then the other. His heart beats right through his ribs.
Cal raises his head. There are tears on his cheeks but the lines of his face are fixed with anger. It’s all through him, comes off his skin like static. ‘Sometimes I wonder if that’s where Danny went,’ Cal says. ‘Whether she took him and put his blood in the land. Maybe she put all his blood in the land.’
‘She wouldn’t do that,’ Riley says.
‘Where is he, then? Where’s my brother?’ He clenches his jaw and hits the tree with a closed fist.
‘Cal.’ Riley feels it coming, like something that needs expulsion from her body. She is going to do it. She will tell him the truth, now, she owes it to him, and whatever happens afterwards she will at least be free of this weight, the leaden knowledge she carries in her depths every moment.
‘What do you think happened to the others who were here?’ Cal says, loud and bitter. ‘There were more of us. So much blood went in the land.’ He strokes the tree as if saying sorry to it and breathes deeply. ‘No, that’s not fair. I shouldn’t have said that. Noon did what had to be done, back then. It was bad, before. We didn’t have any rules. We didn’t worship. There had to be a leader. I know that. I miss Danny, that’s all. I don’t know who I am without him. We protect each other. You know the foster homes you have to be careful of? The ones who make you call them Mom and Dad, like, right away.’
Cal straightens up. ‘Sometimes I get so scared that Danny’s dead. But I know,’ he taps his chest, ‘in here, that he’s not. I would have felt it if he’d died. I just would. It’s a brother thing. I don’t know what’s happening to him but Danny’s out there somewhere. If I keep looking I’ll find him. He’s my brother. Of course I will.’
Riley can’t answer. She sees that there will never be a time when she can tell him the truth. Instead she kisses him on the cheek. His skin is warm and rough with stubble under her lips. She kisses him again on the corner of his mouth, and then again, touching his lips with hers. His body loosens with surprise and Riley slips in close against him, into his warmth. His mouth parts and she feels the edge of his warm tongue. All of her is lighting up.
Riley keeps her eyes open because she doesn’t want to miss any of it. The delicate skin of his lowered eyelids. The dark fringe of his eyelashes.
The other reason she doesn’t close her eyes is that when she doesDanny is there, staring at her with the ruined, bloody tunnels of his eyes.
Riley wakes stiff and cold in the sunrise. They are curled together under Cal’s jacket. The ground is hard and uneven, every part of her aches. Both she and Cal are covered in fallen leaves as if the forest has given them a burial.
Close by, something soft and grey moves. The rabbit hops into view and sits on its hindquarters. It looks at Riley with its deep dark eye. Its ears and nose tremble. Then it moves off, leisurely, and is gone into the tangled undergrowth.
Riley shakes Cal and he groans. ‘Cal,’ she whispers. ‘The rabbits are back.’
The first drops of rain patter lightly on the forest floor.
11Adam
Two walls of the dining room are sheer glass. It’s like eating in the sky, among the mountains, the treetops. Candles burn and flicker, reflected in the clear panes. In the distance, the Ferris wheel turns, lit by flashing red lights.
Leaf glances up only briefly as Adam sits. ‘Did you have a good trip?’ Adam asks.
Leaf smiles and returns his gaze to the paper. Adam feels like he did when Daddy got fired from the plant, all those years ago. He and Mommy sitting quiet, the room saturated with the scent of meat-loaf. They knew what would happen if there was noise when Daddy wanted no talk.
