Riley yells and jumps. She backs away from the stand of tall grass she was looking in.
Noon stands in the meadow in the moonlight, hands in her ragged pockets.
‘Don’t touch me,’ Riley says. ‘Don’t come near me.’
‘I won’t,’ Noon says. She sits down on a rock. ‘I’m sad today,’ she says. ‘Cal’s brother. Danny – he’s missing. Each one of us is everything to each other here at Nowhere. But.’ She swallows and Riley realises that Noon is trying not to cry. ‘He and I were – well. We were happy. So if he’s not home by now, there’s a reason. I’m so scared he’s dead and I don’t want Cal to see that I’m scared. Every person here in this place is precious to me. Our families, where we ran from – they weren’t families. The places we ran from weren’t homes. We made this family and this home. All we have is one another. I know you understand that.’
‘Ok.’ Riley is so tired of lying and hiding. She is weary of it down to the bone. It might be a relief, she thinks, to confess.
Noon looks down at the ground, breathes into her palm and releases her breath into the air, towards Nowhere House.
‘It makes me feel sick when you do that,’ Riley says. ‘Little rats worshipping a dead king rat. He killed people.’
‘That was the past,’ Noon says. She comes closer. Moonlight has bleached her of all colour. ‘I saw you for the first time as you were walking home from school. I watch that school sometimes. Midnight watches, I watch. We look for the ones who need help. I knew right away that you had to come to Nowhere. I saw that you were one of us.’
‘What does that even mean?’ Riley wants to push Noon away, she wants to run or hit something.
‘You have the right hunger. The cold place deep inside you. No one survives here without those things.’ Noon smiles at Riley but it’s sad, like she actually understands how hard it all is, like Noon truly wants the best for her. ‘I asked three girls before you.’
‘What happened?’ Riley asks. Her heart pounds splashy and strong.
‘They didn’t come,’ Noon says. ‘They chose to stay where they were. One of them is dead now.’
Riley whispers, ‘I want to leave.’
‘This isn’t a prison,’ Noon says. ‘But I mean what I say. You belong.’
Riley shakes with rage. ‘Don’t try that brainwashing garbage,’ she says. ‘This is a place. It’s made of rock, grass, earth. The house is just a burnt-down house, whatever. It doesn’t have feelings. It can’t want me. It doesn’t want anything.’
But even as Riley says the words they don’t feel true. She felt welcome here – by the people and the land. She had thought for a moment that she belonged. A tear tracks down Riley’s cheek like a hot needle and she scrubs it away. She was right to keep her guard up, not to trust, all these years. Trust tears a hole in you in the end. Riley swears to herself that she won’t ever make this mistake again.
‘That day we met,’ Noon says. ‘I had been watching you for weeks already. I saw what happened in that house. I listened. I knew I had to get you out of there, I saved your lives.’
Riley laughs. ‘Isaved our lives,’ she says. ‘I got us out of there. There was just no place to go except here.’
‘You can’t leave,’ Noon says.
‘I can do whatever I like,’ Riley says. ‘Whatever is best for me and Oliver.’
Noon shakes her head in the moonlight. ‘I don’t think you can do whatever you like.’ Noon pats the space beside her on the rock. ‘Sit. What’s the worst that could happen?’
‘I’m ok here.’ Riley sinks to the ground where she is. The wet night-grass seeps through her jeans right away. She tries not to shiver.
‘I had two daddies once,’ Noon says. ‘One was good and one was bad. I found out too late which one was which. Now I can only really remember one daddy – what he was like, the things he did. It’s much harder to recall my good daddy. I wish it wasn’t like that. But the people you never forget are the ones you kill. In fact if you’re not careful all the living ones fade away and only the dead are left.’
‘You killed your daddy?’ Riley asks.
‘I did it and ran. Just like you.’ Noon raises her eyebrows at Riley. ‘Rat poison?’
Riley feels as if the ground beneath her is trembling. ‘What?’
‘Riley,’ Noon says, patient.
Riley bows her head. She whispers. ‘Is Cousin … is he really, is he—’
Noon nods. ‘Sometimes Cal brings a newspaper from Ault.’
‘Oh,’ Riley says. ‘Ok.’ She tries to figure out what to feel.
