I smiled back at Gareth and pushed my scolding thoughts into the furthest corner of my mind.
And then shot an exasperated glare at Gemma, who sat across from us on a velvet divan, her eyes sparkling as she glanced back and forth between us. Farrin elbowed her gently in the ribs, not quite managing to stifle her own smile.
I rolled my eyes, heat rising to my cheeks. Later I would have a serious talk with my sisters about the importance of discretion.
And maybe, I thought, with a little flutter of excitement in my belly, I would tell them what they already knew. I would say the words aloud to someone besides Gareth.
I love him.
“I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve summoned you here,” Mother began. She sat in an armchair with faded floral upholstery, looking grave and troubled. Father stood beside her, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.
The sight of them standing there together rankled me. They looked so natural, as if they hadn’t been estranged for years, as if Mother hadn’t let us all believe she was dead. If Talan hadn’t stumbled across Wardwell and brought us north to investigate it, would she ever have revealed herself to us?
I suspected not. The thought left a sour taste in my mouth.
“I’ll be brief,” Mother said, “because time is of the essence. From the safety of Wardwell, I have been slowly and carefully honing my godly powers. As you know, it has taken me many years to emerge from within myself, understand and accept that I am both a human woman and a god reborn, and begin to move through the world as such. I am capable of many things, such as traveling great distances very quickly, as I did when rescuing Farrin, Ryder, and Alastrina from Mhorghast, and as I did yesterday when Gideon and I found Mara and Gareth.”
She looked at each of us in turn as she said our names with a serenity I found both infuriating and enviable. I’d worked hard over theyears to cultivate that kind of calm, but over the past few weeks, I’d been slowly losing my grip on it.
“I can heal even those who are mortally wounded,” Mother went on, her eyes gliding back to Gareth. She gave him a small warm smile.
Gareth shifted in his seat, looking a little embarrassed. “And I thank you for that, er…”
“Kerezen. Philippa. Call me whatever you wish. And there is no need to thank me. Using my abilities to help humans whenever I can is not enough to make up for what my brothers and sisters and I have doomed you to, but it is something.”
“Doom?” Ryder said, leaning on the back of the divan, just behind Farrin. As ever, he seemed to loom over her slight form—a dark protector, hawkish and fearsome. “You speak as if the ending we’re moving toward is a certain one.”
“It is not certain,” Father said gravely, “but it is a possibility.”
“Doom is always a possibility,” Farrin said. “That’s nothing new.” She fixed her keen brown eyes on Mother. “You were going to say something more. What else can you do?”
“I can attack with the kind of power your father can only dream of,” Mother said with a sly glance up at him. “I can pinpoint sickness inside a body, and while I cannot yet eradicate it, I will be able to someday, and I can already lessen the suffering it causes.” She now looked at me. “And I can sense the presence of others like me.”
A faint chill swept across my body. “You’ve found one of the other gods.”
She nodded. “You’ll recall that while I was in Mhorghast, I sensed thatsomethingwas there—something like kin. At first I couldn’t describe it any better than that. It wasn’t until I touched the Bask girl, Alastrina,” she nodded at Ryder, “and saw echoes of what she had experienced in Mhorghast, that I understood that what I sensed was my brother Jaetris, and that he was Kilraith’s captive.”
The talk of Mhorghast made me even more keenly aware of Gareth beside me. He sat very still, hands rigid on his thighs. I placed my scarred left hand over his right one, squeezed his fingers gently. He drew in a soft breath, turned his palm up, grabbed on to me, and held on tight. His thumb brushed across my fingers, and the small gesture made me light up inside. I wanted to raise his hand to my mouth and kiss it. I wanted to lead him back to our little room and press my whole body against his.
Sensing Gemma watching us from across the room, I got hold of myself and resolutely ignored her.
“And now you’re experiencing that same feeling?” Talan asked, looking thoughtfully at Mother.
She nodded. “And now that I’m stronger, the feeling is too. I can almosttasteit. It’s like a fuzz on my tongue, a scent I can’t shake.” She looked fiercely at Farrin, then at me. “It is my sister Neave. She is across the Gloaming Sea in Vauzanne. And I believe she is a captive, just as my brother was.”
Gemma sat up straight. She and Talan exchanged a meaningful look.
“A captive of Kilraith?” Ryder asked sharply.
“I do not know who is holding her,” Mother replied. “I can sense onlyher—her fear, how lonely she is, and how confused.” Her face crumpled. “And I know her voice. I remember the sound of her breathing.”
I tried not to feel annoyed at the sadness in my mother’s voice. What reason could I possibly have for feeling annoyed at someone’s sadness? Especially when it seemed warranted.
Then I realized the truth: since the day I’d been taken from Ivyhill, not once had I heard Mother speak with such sadness aboutme.
“This confirms what we’ve been hearing,” Talan murmured, his brow furrowed.
“Hearing?” Farrin asked.
