Then he brought one of his hands up to cup the back of my head. The soft press of his fingers against my scalp made me feel alive again. I clutched the front of his jacket and pulled him as close to me as I could.
“Mara, Mara,” he said quietly, roughly, brushing his lips against my temple. “Please, darling. I’m begging you. Never again. Not without me.”
I pressed a kiss to the triangle of skin above his ragged collar. “Not without you,” I whispered back. “Never again.”
Chapter 32
Welma didn’t much like the idea of Gareth taking up residence in my room.
“You need torest, my lady,” she said rather grumpily, “not spend your energy—”
She fell abruptly silent and gestured to Gareth, who stood at my side. I leaned heavily against him, my cheek pressed to his sleeve. With each moment that passed, I felt a little less capable of standing.
“Not spend her energy doingwhat, Welma?” Gareth asked, a smile in his voice. “I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific.”
Welma drew herself up indignantly, her cheeks flushing. “You know very well what I mean, Professor, and feigning ignorance just to poke fun at me is not as charming as you think it is.”
Gareth inclined his head and took my hand gently in his. “I assure you,” he said quietly, “nothing is more important to me than Mara’s recovery. I will not—and would never—do anything to hurt her. I simply wish to be near her.”
“Please, Welma,” I said, fighting to keep my eyes from drifting shut. I was sotired, and after only a few minutes out of bed. “Having him beside me will be a great comfort.”
Welma pressed her lips together and considered us. “Very well,” she said after a moment. “Before you settle, I’ll change the bed linens and find an extra pillow. And gods unmade, Professor, will you help hersit down?”
Gareth obeyed, guiding me carefully onto a cushioned bench outside my room. I teetered at the edge of wakefulness, and through my exhaustion I sensed pieces of everyone around me—my sisters, my friends. Gemma’s curls pressed against my cheek as she embraced me; Talan gently kissed my forehead. Ryder placed his hand on my shoulder; Farrin curled her fingers around mine and held them against her chest, right over her heart.
“Rest, Mara,” she whispered. “We’re here now.”
Her words were like a lullaby. I followed it gratefully into the softness of sleep.
***
Gareth was sitting beside my bed when I woke, a book with a faded green cover open in his lap. He was distractedly biting his thumbnail as he read, his brow furrowed with fierce concentration, and he wore a new pair of wire-rimmed glasses. Their gold frames glinted in the soft candlelight. My heart swelled at the sight of them. Such a little thing, and so familiar, so dear.
For a moment I watched him in contented silence. Then I realized he wasn’t actually reading; minutes had passed, and he hadn’t turned the page.
“Hello, Professor,” I said, my voice hoarse and tired.
He looked up at the sound, all the worry on his face melting away. He placed the book on the bedside table and then leaned forward to gather my hand in his—my left hand, rough with scars. He kissed my fingers, then my palm, and looked up at me. The softness in his eyes made me ache.
“Hello there,” he said quietly. A small smile passed over his face, and then he shook his head and looked away, blinking hard.
To distract him, I voiced a question to which I desperately wanted an answer. “Where is Neave?”
“Down the hall,” Gareth answered at once. He cleared his throat and then spoke more steadily. “The healers have been tending to Lily’s injuries. She isn’t conscious very often, and when she is, it’s Neave speaking, not Lily. Welma told me that sometimes she thinks she sees Lily there behind her eyes, but then Neave takes over, and then they’re both unconscious again. It’s a terrible mess.”
“We have to help her,” I said. Each word hurt my dry throat. “Neave, certainly, but Lily too. We can’t just discard the poor girl.”
“We certainly will not,” Gareth said firmly. “I’ve already begun searching for her family. We haven’t dared to probe her for information, she’s too fragile for that, but I’ve got a whole team of clerks at the university scouring our census records for anyone that age named Lily. Not just in Vauzanne, but in Aidurra, and here in Gallinor too. We’ll find her family. We’ll see to it that she heals. And,” he added grimly, “I personally will not rest until any surviving Lemaires are brought to Fairhaven to be sentenced for their crimes by the royal courts. It will have to wait until after the war is over, when things are safer, but I swear to you, Mara, I will not let them escape justice for what they did to her, and to Griselda too, whether it was under Kilraith’s influence or not.”
I watched him for a moment—how heavily he leaned on his elbows, how tightly he clasped his hands together, the desolate anger on his face.
I reached for him gently. “Come here, Gareth.”
He took off his glasses and dashed a hand across his eyes. “I suppose, though,” he added, laughing bitterly, “that if the Lemaire family is punished for their actions, so should I be for mine.”
“In Mhorghast you were a prisoner, controlled by the god of the mind himself. It was different.”
“I don’t see how.”
