“About?” I ask, surprised to hear him say that.
“Remember what happened last time there was a dead socialite in the marsh?” he asks pointedly.
My heart stutters. “They’re going to blame a Chaser,” I breathe out, exchanging a worried look with Shawn.
“If it really is one of those powerful assholes,” Tech continues, “we’re going to be the prime suspects. We need to keep our mouths shut.”
Jamie laughs incredulously. “Considering I’m related to one of the ultimate-rich assholes, I’d let them know that’s not true. I was there.”
I wince, realizing how much Tech’s theory makes sense. “Yeah,” I say to Jamie, “but… it’s likely that body had been in the marsh for a while. Meaning, we could have gone out there without you, killed a guy, and then… who knows? It doesn’t have to make sense. I just has to be easy.”
“It just has to be a Chaser,” Tech corrects.
Jamie looks around at us, seeming to think it over. “Then I agree,” he says. “We keep it all quiet for now.”
We sit with the thought for a moment until one of the other Chasers spits rum into the bonfire, making it flame higher. Someone turns up the music, and the world seems to come into focus again, alive and thriving. It’s the strangest sense, having life move around you as if you’re not really here. And right now, I don’t feel here. I feel untethered.
“There’s nothing more we can do tonight,” Tech says, checking the time. “We just need to lie low and see where things stand in the morning.”
He waits until we agree, and then slaps hands with Jamie. Then he and Shawn wander off while Jamie and I hang back, staring at the fire.
I turn to him, checking over his condition. He’s battered and bruised, his black eye even darker now. He has definitely had a terrible day, and that doesn’t even include the part where he almost got shot helping us get away.
Jamie glances at me, curious, before his lips flinch with a smile and he turns away again.
Despite not saying a word, he still gives me butterflies.
We head toward the fire, and together we sit on one of the logs facing the flames. The heat warms my face, and it’s a bit intoxicating, the letdown from the day’s adrenaline almost like euphoria.
“Remember Bonfire Beach?” I ask him, waving around us. “Chasers only—plus you.”
“Of course,” he says. “I didn’t even need the map.”
It’s such a small thing, but I’m happy to hear that. Like he was never really that far away.
Jamie leans back, legs stretched out toward the fire. “I’ve missed this place,” he says quietly. “All of it.” He looks sideways at me. “You.”
There is a mix of sweetness and misery as I stare back at him. The slow ache from all the times I told myself I was over him. Or rather, that he was over me. He was right about one thing: It was easier. It was easier to not talk to him than to have him here and not tell me why he left.
“Just ask,” he says suddenly, like he did on the beach. His eyes are apologetic, but also determined. Honest. As if today has changed things. As if he’s ready.
But I don’t know if I am.
“Why?” I ask so quietly, it’s barely a breath.
He tilts his head at the sound of my voice, hearing how hurt I am in just that single word. He pulls his brows together, his throat bobbing as he swallows.
“It started with my father,” he says finally. “He was waiting for me that last night to confront me about emails I’d sent revealing his affair. I was trying to get him in trouble.”
This surprises me, but then it doesn’t. His father is powerful; it’s not unheard-of that he was unfaithful. And as far as Jamie trying to make him pay for it? Well, that’s just his sense of justice.
“I’m guessing it didn’t work out the way you thought,” I say.
“No,” Jamie says, shaking his head and looking down at the sand. “No, it backfired. In return, he dismantled my life, even threatened to destroy it completely. More than that…” He scrunches up his face. “He made me believe that no one could ever love a fuckup like me.”
When he turns to me again, his eyes are glistening. I’m not sure Jamie ever stopped believing that.
I shift closer, just enough that our arms brush. Not a hug. Not yet. But I let my fingers hang near his, silent permission if he needs to take them.
