“Yeah, well,” she says, “I still feel shitty about it. And I hope that by helping the other girls, I’m somehow setting things even.”
“You’ve already helped us, Raven,” I tell her. “You saved our lives. But, growth is important too. No one is born perfect, not even a robotic girl at an academy. It’s what we do once we recognize our mistakes that matters.”
She smiles at this. “Do you mind… Do you think I could get a hug?” she asks. I tell her she can, and then we embrace on the porch steps. It’s nice to forgive her. To care about her. She is, after all, one of us. And no matter what, girls stick together.
“I should go,” Raven says. “And you should get some rest. Don’t overdo it.”
“I’ll try not to.”
Raven says goodbye, and then she grabs her things and heads off the porch toward her parked car. It’s a nice day out, the air warm on my skin. The sun is shining. I decide to stay outside a few moments longer and take a seat on the top step again. There are birds in the trees, and I close my eyes and listen to their song.
But it’s interrupted by the sound of tires bumping a curb, metal scraping. I look up and smile when I see Jackson carelesslyparking and then rushing from the car before noticing that I’m already sitting outside.
When he sees me, he stops dead and places his hand over his heart like it hurts. I stare at him, overcome myself. And slowly, his lips part as he exhales heavily and starts toward me. He no longer has crutches, but I notice the limp. He’ll always have it, I suppose. A legacy to the night he tried to save me back at the academy.
As Jackson gets closer, I study him while he studies me, neither of us talking. His hair has grown longer, his body even slimmer. But he’s the same, and when he shakes his head, laughing to himself when he’s sure I’m completely fine, I have a surge of undeniable attraction.
He climbs the stairs and drops down next to me. We both stare at his car, the front left tire butted up against the curb while the back right is half in the street.
“You’re awake,” he says like an observation.
“You’re back from Colorado,” I comment, and he nods.
“Yeah… In fucking Connecticut of all places. Couldn’t bring myself to leave.” He swallows hard. “Not without you.”
Tears prick my eyes, and I turn to look at him, staring at the side of his face. “And if I didn’t wake up?” I ask. “How long would you have waited?”
He turns to me. “Forever,” he says. And then he smiles. “Obviously.”
“Obviously,” I repeat.
“What have you been up to?” I ask him. “School?”
“Nope,” he says, turning away again. “But Quentin and Istarted our own business. He’s been stuck in Connecticut too.” He laughs. “We’ve gotten into some internet stuff, advertising. I even make T-shirts.”
“You do?” I laugh. “What kind of T-shirts?”
“Funny ones. Ironic ones. Political ones. We’ve got all sorts of clients.”
“Clients?”I repeat. “Fancy.”
“I sell that shirt too.” He smiles and turns to me again. “I’ve missed you,” he says. “You have no idea how much I’ve fucking missed you.”
And then the hurt floods in. Although it wasn’t entirely my fault, I’ve been gone. I left him for half a year. And I see in his eyes that it broke his heart.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come see you in the hospital,” I say, trying to make him smile.
“Again,”he says, widening his eyes. He sniffles then, fighting back his emotions. “And it sucked worse this time, you know. I came to find you after, and there you were—gone, but still inside somewhere. Day after day. I couldn’t even try to break my leg to save you. All I could do was wait. Be here when you woke up. Wishing for you to just wake up.”
He wipes his eyes before the tears can drip on his cheeks.
“I’ve been here almost every day, and of course you woke up while I was getting my fucking oil changed,” he says.
I laugh. “You’re here now. And honestly, it’s been like twenty minutes, so I’m not all that mad.”
“Well, good,” he says. “Good.”
We wait a little longer, and then without looking at me, Jackson reaches over to take my hand, playing with my fingers. He sighs heavily and licks his lips. And again, I am wildly attracted to him.
