“We do nothing alone,” I point out. And this time, I’m a little angry. “You don’t get to leave us,” I say. “We stay together, no matter what.”
“Not this time.”
Separating us was a form of punishment the academy would inflict. The idea that Annalise wants to do it willingly is even more painful.
“If you tell the others now,” Annalise says, “they’ll be too upset to go through with tonight. That means the Ridgeview boys will get away with everything. The corporation will continue creating and selling girls. I’m asking you to believe in me, Mena. I’m …” She pauses a moment. “I’m asking you to let me go do what needs to be done.”
“Then why even tell me?” I ask, my eyes welling up. “Why didn’t you just leave?”
Her eyes soften and she leans in to hug me, stopping me from completely falling apart.
“Because we’ve been together from the beginning,” she whispers. “And I needed you here at the end.”
I close my eyes, and tears slip down my cheeks. I hug her back fiercely. I want us all to stay together, but I don’t get to demand it. We’re individuals, we’re fighting for our right to exist. I have no doubt that Annalise is trying to help us. I can’t take that away.
But I’m also not giving up on her.
I straighten, quickly wiping my face. “You have to come back,” I say, and I clear my throat. “You do this, but then you come back. At least give me the chance to save you.”
She nods that she will.
When Raven calls my name, I wait a beat to calm myself before turning to her.
“I’m ready for you,” Raven says.
Brynn helps Sydney to her feet, and they go into the kitchen. Annalise follows behind them, announcing that she’ll make tea.
Raven pats the empty space on the couch, inviting me to sit.
Jackson appears in my doorway, leaning against the frame with his crutches in front of him. He looks wrecked, either from our earlier interaction or from his worry that I’m about to get wires pressed into my head; perhaps both. I debate what to do.
I’m terrified. I really am. I can still back out of this, back out of everything except for finding a way to get to the investor. We don’t need to save the girls from the predators at Ridgeview, but I can’t abandon them. I’m just not built that way.
I go over to the couch and lie back, my head on the pillow at the end. I’m shaking, and Raven reaches out to put her warm hand on my arm. I turn to her, holding her dark gaze.
“I won’t hurt you, Mena,” she says softly.
I close my eyes, giving her permission to get started. And yet … I’m still not entirely sure I believe her.
But to change the world, a girl occasionally has to put her trust in human beings.
24
Islowly stir, and my eyelids flutter open. At first, there is a sharp pain behind my left eye, and I hold up my hand to block the overhead light. There’s a strange feedback sound in my head. Static.
“How are you feeling?” Raven asks.
I look sideways at her, slightly disoriented. “Tired,” I say.
“It’ll wear off in a few minutes.”
I look toward the kitchen, and Sydney waves. She seems to be doing fine, and my worry dissipates. Raven watches me before turning her computer around.
“You’re fucking amazing,” she says. It takes a second for me to realize she’s talking about my programming. On her screen, there are patterns and waves—unmistakably me. I meet her eyes.
“Did you … Did you notice anything wrong?” I ask.
Raven turns the computer around, clicking into a differentscreen. “Not anything unexpected,” she says easily. “You’re perfect.”
