“Cramps,” I answer, unable to fully look at him.
“You’re lying, Charlotte!” he yells. Suddenly he grabs me by the elbow and spins me around. I’m so alarmed that I temporarily forget the Need. All I can see is how upset I’m making him. “My God,” he says, tears falling from his eyes. “Are you dying or something? Is that why you won’t tell me?”
“No,” I say quickly. But that’s not true. Because really, Iamdying. And I’m about to let him down the same way his father let him down. I’m going to leave him too early. I’m going to leave him heartbroken. I pull my elbow out of his grip and stand close to him, ignoring the pull that’s yanking me toward the exit.
“You’re lying,” he whispers, like he’s given up. His face is drained of color as he watches me. Harlin raises his hand and puts his palm on my cheek. I turn into it, but don’t take my eyes from his. “I can’t do it anymore,” he says. For a second his face breaks with the start of a cry, but he shakes his head quickly instead. “I can’t be with you anymore.”
“What?” I push his hand away. He can’t mean that.
“You keep lying to me,” he says. “Over and over you lie, sneak around. That’s not a relationship, Charlotte. You’re killing me.”
Before I can argue, he leans forward and kisses the top of my forehead, pausing long enough to make it seem final. And inside, the Need can’t compete with the loss I feel. I’m losing everything.
“Don’t do this,” I murmur as he backs away from me toward his apartment door.
“Good-bye, baby,” he says in a hushed voice. He pauses and I wait for him to tell me that he didn’t mean it. That this isn’t happening. Harlin stares at the floor for a long moment, and then goes inside.
I stand there, my body aching, but my heart feeling worse. Harlin and I had plans. We had a future. I want to bang on his door, explain everything and make him understand. I’m not sure I can go on without him.
But suddenly a thought occurs to me. Maybe this is better, leaving him like this instead of slowly dissolving away. I close my eyes and start to cry. There is a hot burning up and down my arm as if I’m on fire. I push up my sleeve.
The skin falls away as the fabric rubs against it, leaving my entire arm a brilliant, glowing gold. There’s no way to hide this now. There’s no way.
I start for the stairs, wanting to get out of the hall before someone discovers me. I’ll follow the Need and Harlin will forget me. They all will.
It’s almost over.
