Noelle jumps out of the car without a warning and I’m only a second behind, chasing her towards the front door. It’s still locked—looters haven’t taken their chances yet. A small relief, though in the grand scheme of things it's barely a positive. On the other side of the door, the snow on the stairs tripled since last time. Noelle doesn’t seem to care as she barges up them anyway. I stay a step behind, ready to catch her if she slips.
At the top, I want to sink into the floor.
Snow buries every inch of her apartment, piled up so high you can’t tell what you’re walking on. I think I see the back of hercouch peeking out to my left, though there really is no way to be sure as any fabric has long frozen over. The door to her bedroom is still open, and along with the surviving upper cabinets in the kitchen I can make a rough sketch of where things are buried. It makes no difference.
“What am I going to do?” Noelle drops to her knees amid the debris, her tear-soaked eyes taking in the scene. Her eyes are glazed over, like her mind is far from here.
I kneel down in front of her, gently pulling her into my chest. “You don’t have to do anything. Not today.”
“This apartment, the café…it’s all I have. Every cent I have went into these spaces. How am I going to pay for all of this? I’m fucked, Cole.” Noelle eases a sob. “I don’t even know who I am without this place. I lost everything in the span of one weekend.”
My heart aches at the sight of her in so much pain. I want to hold her, give her my credit card, doanythingto make it better. But there is nothing that could ease the pain of losing your home.
I know, because I felt it every time I had to leave her behind.
Wrapping my arms tighter around her, I brush my lips against her forehead, soft and reassuring. “You haven’t lost everything, Honey. The café looked untouched, and we will rebuild this place even better than it was. I’ll look for great contractors, get you whatever you need—you won’t have to worry about a thing. In the meantime, my home is yours. Remember that.”
“I can’t,” Noelle says, and her voice breaks. “You know what I grew up with. I can’t give up my independence like this, not yet. No matter how much I want to, it’s just too soon. I would be no better than her.”
There it is. The quiet part she never said out loud, the terrible thought finally brought out into the sunlight. I knew it was coming, as I know how she thinks, but it still hurts.
Because it means that, no matter what I do, she might never feel safe enough to be mine forever. Not just because of my job—which will be resolved soon—but because she can’t see herself as my equal.
I nod, though she can’t see me with her face buried in my chest, and let her sob for as long as she needs to. I can’t imagine the depths of terror she must feel. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’ve got you. You don’t have to carry this alone anymore, remember? I’ll get this place fixed up and ready for you to move back in no time at all.”
Calming down a little, Noelle moves to look at me, her eyes red and puffy from crying. “You would do that for me?”
“I would do anything for you. You know that.” I smile and push a lock of hair behind her ear, giving me a clear view of those beautiful eyes. “Promise me something?”
She nods. “Anything.”
“Stay with me until your apartment is fixed? Don’t make the decision to leave now, not yet.Please.” My voice is quiet and pleading, but I can’t help it. We have come so far, I can’t let her slip through my fingers at the last second. “You are it for me, Noelle. Whether you live here or in our home, that doesn’t change. If you feel you need us to live apart for a while, then that’s okay. Just don’t change your mind about me. Aboutus.”
She cocks her hand for a moment, her face softening as she scans my face. Her fingers brush my cheek, and when her lips meet mine they are warm and soft and loving. “I won’t change my mind, I promise. I have loved you for too long to give it up now. And I don’t want to move out—I just want the reassurance of knowing I can, if that makes sense? It’s just something we will have to figure out, together.”
I ease a sigh of relief, the weight I’ve been carrying lifted at once. Noelle is mine. She could still change her mind, but right here, in this moment, we’ve won.
I’m the luckiest fucking bastard in the world. She’s moving into our home. I will get to make her breakfast, drive her to the café every morning. Help out wherever I can, though she probably won’t let me touch the coffee maker. Drive her home at night. Make her dinner. Watch over her dreams.
Just me and her against the world.
Fucking hell. Is this what it feels like to get blessed?
I slide my hand into the crook of her neck and steal another kiss, dragging it out for as long as she lets me. When we finally break apart, I can’t keep the smile of relief from my face. “What do you want to do now?”
“I think I want to open up the café for anyone in need of a hot meal, or just a cup of coffee. Give people a place to rest and take comfort in one another.” Noelle nods to herself, her gaze far away as she formulates a plan for herself. “You can pick me up later, if you want. Or I’ll walk home.”
Like I would ever let her do this alone. Opening up the café only proves how big a heart she has, trying to help the neighborhood like that. Noelle deserves someone who can help carry her burdens, even when she tries to take on those of the people around her. Someone who finds joy in everything that makes her happy. And if helping our neighbors makes her happy? Well, that’s good enough for me.
Besides, it’s my job to keep her safe. Always has been, but especially now that she’s mine. There is no chance in hell I will let her walk on those dingy roads at dusk, even less all the way up into the mountains.
“No way. I will be right by your side to help with whatever you need, and we go home together. Let’s just hope I don’t blow up the café trying to make coffee first.”
In the snow-enforced silence, Noelle’s laugh is as clear and melodic as ever.
Epilogue
Noelle
