Would she take my coat, if I offered it? Would she take my last name?
Shut up, Cole.
“What can I get you?” Noelle asks, snapping me from my thoughts. Those gorgeous brown eyes are trained on my face, holding me captive in the way only she can. When did she get in front of me?
I clear my throat. “Grilled cheese?”
“Excellent choice,” Noelle beams with a wink. She swiftly writes it on a sticky note and hands it to her cook, Manny, through the opening in the wall. Even her handwriting is pretty.
“Are you prepared for the storm? I’m hitting up the store later, if you need anything,” I say.
Noelle shakes her head. “If I need something I can just go tomorrow morning when the wind dies down. They’re overreacting like always.”
It’s true that they predicted at least three storms in the last few weeks that never came to be, but I know they’re right on this one. I can feel it, like a throbbing pressure in the back of my head that won’t go until the snow falls.
“What if they’re not, though?” I ask. “Are you prepared to be wrong?”
Manny rings a bell in the kitchen, making her glance over her shoulder. “Guess we’ll find out.”
She disappears into the kitchen before I can respond. My gorgeous, stubborn girl. She’s going to get us both killed at some point.
My eyes are drawn to the picture frame that has a personal vendetta with staying straight, and I sneak behind the counter to grab it. Noelle won’t let me fix it for good, but what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her. I take the sheet of double sided sticky pads from my pocket and stick a few on the back of the frame before putting it pack up, pressing it against the wall for a second so it’ll stick. Satisfied for now, I rush back to my seat.
Noelle walks back into the room with two plates of grilled cheese, oblivious to my moving, and sets both in front of me before turning to make my coffee. I’d do it myself, but the last time I tried it almost got me banned from the café. I learned not to bring it up.
“How was your doctor’s appointment? Are you cleared for duty yet?” Noelle asks as she pushes my coffee across the counter. She stuffs her face with her grilled cheese, the crumbs sticking to her glossy lips, her hair flying every which way. How is she still hot like this?
I know how.
It’s because it’sher.
I knew from the moment I met her that there was only one girl for me, that she herself was the answer to the question of my existence. I spent years in denial, convincing myself that Noelle is my best friend and only that. But best friends don’t risk their careers to be there for each other, uproot their lives to be closer to her. Best friends don’t look at her the way I look at her.
In my life, I have written dozens of letters to her that I will never send. It’s a way for me to work through my feelings without risk, a place where I can live in the fantasy of being with her. A place where I’m brave enough to tell her how I feel.
But I’m a coward, a dumb hockey player who got knocked in the head one too many times. I’m fearless on the ice, but out here in the real world I might as well lose my voice. I’d scream my love for her from the rooftops, write it in the sky. But I know she can do a lot better than my sorry ass. So I stay silent, content to be warmed by the flame of presence, even if it means I’ll never know the fire of her love.
She can’t know about the letters, either.Ever. There is no explaining them away, and after her childhood it would only scare her off. I can’t let that happen. Noelle Adams is the best fucking thing that has ever happened to me, and I’d lose myself before I’d ever risk losing her.
I shake my head with a smile. “Not yet. I’ll wear her down eventually, though.”
Impossible. Doctor Williams told me I had a long way to go before I could even move like a regular human being, let alone play a heavy contact sport like hockey. In fact, she warned me I might not even be ready in time for the new season, and Coach Mallard even asked me to consider medical retirement. But something tells me now is not the time to mention that.
“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Noelle says. “I know you’re really wanting to lead the Vultures to the Cup next season, but those puppy eyes won’t be enough to get you out of this one.”
For a moment, my brain is nothing but static while her words sink in. She thinks I have puppy eyes!
“Oh Honey, you know me. If I want something, I make sure I get it,” I wink.
She laughs, a beautifully clear sound that beats any song on the radio. I wish I could bottle it up for a rainy day. “Must be nice to get everything you want.”
Noelle walks away with a smile, taking a tray of coffees and cakes to the elderly couple by the window. I watch her go, my gaze lingering a moment too long to deny it.
“Not everything,” I whisper.
Chapter three
Noelle
