There she goes again, insinuating that she owes me for something when really, I owe her. Without her here, I would have lost my mind in the silence worrying about her. She hasn’t allowed me to help her with anything in the past, no matter how much easier it would have made her life. And I respected that. This is something she can’t stop me from doing.
“Of course you can handle it. You’re Noelle fucking Adams—that was never in question. But I’m still going out there, because no matter how strong you are, you don’t have to shoulder this alone.” I brush a stray lock of hair from her face, those sparkling brown eyes staring deep into my soul. My eyes flit to her lips and I feel that pull again, that magnetic energy that makes it impossible to stay away. “Let me do this for you, Honey. Let me take care of you.”
A war plays out behind her gaze, her need for independence raging against every one of my words. She swallows, and for a moment I think she might pull away. But then she sighs, and her face softens. “Okay.”
I drag my thumb across her cheekbone. My brave, gorgeous girl. It would be so easy to kiss her, but that wouldn’t be fair. Not right now. If we ever were to kiss again, it has to be fully sober, not even a little hungover, and she has to be the one to initiate.
I take her hand in mine and brush my lips against her knuckles. It’s the closest I’ll allow myself to get to showing my need for intimacy. “I’ll be back soon. I have my phone on if you need me, okay?”
Noelle nods. Her rosy cheeks make her tear-stained eyes even bigger, and take one last look at them, drinking in every bit of honey-coated goodness she has to offer.
No more procrastinating. If I want to get home to her before the snow starts anew, I have to leave right now. I rise and stalk to the front door to put on my shoes and coat. I dig around in my pocket for my keys, making sure I have them—and thus Noelle’s apartment key—before I leave.
Noelle leans against a beam a few feet away from me, her head resting against the wood. Worry pinches her face in the cutest way, like she’s worried I won’t make it back.
“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone,” I say in an attempt to lighten the mood. Going outside is a stupid, dangerous thing, and we both know it. But I don’t want her to dwell on it.
Noelle’s smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes when she steps forward, tugging my hat over my ears the way I’d done to her just a few days ago. It feels like a lifetime since that moment. Even her fingers, soft and warm as they linger on my jaw, feel different than before. “Don’t get yourself killed because of me.”
“I’ll be perfectly safe.”Liar. “See you in a bit.”
Chapter fourteen
Cole
Thetownisdesertedsave for me, my feet sinking in the fresh snow. I go slow, not just because of the danger of black ice but because the cold is a pain-infused nightmare for my healing injuries. Still, the time it takes to get to the Candy Cane Café isn’t too bad.
Whatisbad, however? The state of Noelle’s apartment.
Even from the street I can tell her neighbor was right. The snow and wind made part of the roof cave in, and the domino effect dragged the other weakened parts down with it. The evidence is clear as day; I can see the sky right through her broken window.
A bad feeling rumbles through my stomach as I stare at it. There is no chance in hell Noelle can go back here. Not for a while, anyway.
I push down the selfish part of me that’s excited to have her living with me indefinitely. My best friend just lost her house, all her belongings. This is no time for celebrating.
What can I do?
I fiddle with my keys as I stare up at the apartment. I do have the emergency key she gave me. Do I dare go up? I know she told me not to get myself killed, but what good did this trip do if I can’t prepare her with the details of what she’ll find after the storm?
The neighbor that called her, old Mrs Hawthorn, waves from her window with a knowing smile. I have no doubt she saw me picking Noelle up the other night, and I’m convinced she knows how I feel about her, being at the café every time I rush in for our lunch date. Oh, what juicy stories she must be dreaming up now that I’ve walked down here, risking my life for my best friend again.
I guess I would, too, if I were in her shoes.
I have no time for pleasantries, yet I force myself to wave back. I don’t want my rudeness to rub off on Noelle in any way, especially with her best customer. It takes every bit of my strength to force a smile to my face—I hate these social conventions more than I hate anything else. I’d much rather be alone in my home or on the ice, where there are no social rules to follow and no one can call me rude.
Noelle’s front door jams for a moment before giving way, revealing stairs dusted in a thin layer of snow; not much of an encouraging start, though it pales in comparison to the rest of the house.
Debris and snow coat every inch of her place, with only her bedroom and part of the kitchen saved from the carnage.Fuck. How is it even worse than I thought?
I don’t want her up here for even a minute, especially not by herself. She’s going to want her stuff, though. There is no way she would allow me to replace them, to have to depend on me like that. It’s going to be hard enough to convince her to stay at my place.
Unlike her, I don’t see it like her depending on me. I love taking care of her in any way I possibly can, and I have too much money for me alone anyway. Seeing her face light up at a gift, that childlike joy in her eyes…that’s priceless. Addicting, even.
My parents are gone, my friends have enough money to take care of themselves. But my best friend, my little light, the one who could use it most…she keeps rejecting my money, and any help I offer.
I understand why, of course; that snake of a mother of hers gave her enough trauma to last a lifetime, and she’s dead set on not following in her footsteps. Noelle’s life is so much harder than it needs to be, and while I would never do something against her wishes, I can’t help but feel hurt every time she declines my help. She’s the best person I know, hardworking and with a heart bigger than anyone, and I love her more than I have loved any other. How could I not want to make her happy?
I can’t think about that now. Not if I want to get back to her before the storm picks up again.
