Like he got what he wanted, and now I’ve lost my use.
Is that it? Was our entire friendship just a ridiculously long con to get into my pants? No, that can’t be. Months ago, his then-girlfriend used him for her five minutes of fame, and it almost broke him. There is no way Cole is capable of being that cruel.
Or maybe I don’t know him as well as I think.
A knot forms in my throat as my mind latches onto the possibility. It would make sense, I suppose. Definitely more so than him actually seeing me as more than a friend. Yet, I can’t bring myself to actually consider this as an actual possibility.
Because if that is the truth, if Cole really was playing me just to get me to fuck him, then that means we were never friends at all. Not really.
And I can’t accept that.
He can ignore what happened, regret it, refuse to ever talk about it. But he can’t be a liar. He can’t play with my heart like it means nothing to him.
Cole strolls out of the kitchen with a steaming mug of tea and sets it on the table at my feet without a word, though his smile is as warm and kind as always. It’s unlike him to be this quiet with me—it’s unsettling, and only echoes the doubts plaguing my mind.
Still, I won’t be the one to bring up what happened last night..
I won’t be the one that gets him to leave me.
Chapter thirteen
Cole
Iwokeinablissful haze, but when I reached for her, the mattress was cold.
The blood drains from my knuckles when I grip the counter top with all my might. How could I let this happen? I flew too close to her sun and let us both get burned. She obviously regrets sleeping with me—why else would she leave our bed? Would she be acting so unlike herself?
The power must have returned, as the water boils when I flip the switch. I fill her mug, perching the saucer and tea bag on top. Maybe there is still a way to salvage our relationship. Noelle often needs time to think things through, see the situation from every possible angle. I should give her some space while she does. The last thing I want is to come on too strong and scare her off for good.
I offer her a soft smile when I set the mug on the table at her feet, and sit down in one of the chairs next to the couch. This should be enough distance for her to have her space, right?
This all feels wrong, so goddamn wrong. I want to go right up to her and pull her into my arms, prove I’m nothing like hermother’s deadbeat boyfriends. That I am hers, forever. But if I want her future, I should give her grace in the present. Even if it kills me.
I turn on my phone and navigate to the Vultures’s team chat.
I fucked up
Jace
Hardly surprising
Kai
Tell us something new, Martin
Gotta love this support system
Kai
You knew who you were texting
Well, that much is true. I should have seen this coming.
Aiden
Guys, let him talk
Thanks, man
