“Come in.”
The door opens and I don’t turn away. The water hits my spine at just the right angle; it would be a shame to lose that bit of happiness. Blake stares for a moment, his eyes wide as they glide along every inch and curve like he has never seen me naked before. It’s kind of sweet.
I hate to break his stare, but he’s letting all the precious warmth out of the room. I motion for him to close the door and he blinks, shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts as he obliges.
“I’ve got your jammies, figured it’d be best to bundle up before getting out of here. You know, to lock in that post-shower warmth.” Blake places a stack of clothes on the bathroom countertop before leaning against it, the muscle straining against the thin fabric of his white shirt. He's staring again, though it’s far from an uncomfortable one. It's almost appreciative, awestruck. And wholly one-sided.
“You know, if you’re going to stay you might as well join me.”
He raises a brow, conflict clear on his face. “You sure?”
“It’s only weird if you make it weird.”
Like it’s happening in slow motion Blake steps closer, throwing his shirt into a corner to reveal his sculpted torso. He drops his joggers, revealing he wasn’t wearing anything underneath, leaving him naked and tantalizingly close.
I let my eyes feast on his body the way he did mine. I take in every toned muscle, every groove and bump, how his thighs could crush a skull and the way the veins on his arms lie just above the rest. Blake’s body seems tailor-made for me, with every inch of him screaming at me to climb him like a tree.
And I will. Just not tonight.
I take his hand, leading him closer until he’s in the wall-less shower cabin with me, and crash my lips into his.
Blake’s hands land on my bare hips but never stray, though the evidence of how badly he wants to presses against my stomach. One jump into his arms would be enough to feel him inside of me, and for a moment I imagine doing it. Imagine him pressing me into the wall and filling me up so deliciously that I’d want for nothing until I screamed his name over and over.
I feel myself getting wet at the mere thought of it, though I meant what I said earlier. I'm too exhausted for that tonight.
“You never cease to amaze me, Alexis,” Blake grins like an idiot, and it’s so infectious I can't stop myself from smiling, either. Being in Blake’s orbit, looking into his eyes–-it eases theweight of the world on my shoulders. I never knew how heavy a burden it was until he kissed me and I felt it all crashing down around us, allowing me to finally breathe.
Blake tries to pull me in again but I stop him, my eyes trained on the collection of scars and bruises. Some have faded to nothing but a faint line, while others look relatively new. And the bruising… “Are these all from playing hockey?”
I’ve seen Levi without a shirt countless times, but he doesn’t have anywhere near as many scars as Blake does.
“No,” Blake says. “I mean, most are. But the others…I wasn’t always the lovable rogue you know me as. There is a lot of shit I’m hiding from everyone—even you.”
I run a finger along a long, jagged scar on his left peck. “Tell me?”
Conflict battles in his gaze before his hand closes on mine, a shaky breath leaving his lips.
“That one I got during a visitation with my dad when he got drunk and came at me with a knife. Apparently I’m too sensitive for a guy, and it pissed him off, ” Blake says. He moves my hand to his side. “That one I got during a boxing match that spilled out of the ring. He and his buddies waited outside, I barely got away.”
Our hands dip lower, almost low enough to touch his rock-hard length before he stops with a chuckle. “This one’s less exciting—appendectomy.”
“Shit, Blake.” I blink against the burning in my eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. Is this why he was so insistent on walking me to and from class every day? Because he was afraid Hudson would eventually bring a weapon?
Blake’s finger lifts my chin, forcing my gaze away from his scars. His eyes are a storm in the ocean, wild and violent. But there’s a strength in them that takes my breath away, a defiant kind of gentleness only I get to see.
“I don’t like talking about this stuff, who I was before. I was lost, Sunshine. So fucking lost until I heard you laugh that day.” He shakes his head. “Do you know why I call youSunshine, Alexis? It’s because from that moment on I saw a way out. A way to live, not just survive. A way out of the shit hole I found myself in and take back the control I’d lost. You are the ray of light I needed to obliterate the darkness that consumed me for twenty-one years, and I have spent every single day since then trying to become the man that’s deserving of you.”
I cup his jaw in the palm of my hand, stroking the scruff with my thumb. The other hand lays flush against his heart, the steady beating calm and reassuring. “I’m not a saint, nor a goddess. You don’t have to change who you are to deserve me; every version of you is enough. You told me that being with you is supposed to be easy, that I can be me and you be you—it’s time you listen to your own words. You are deserving, Blake. More than you’ll ever know.”
Blake leans in to kiss me and this time I don’t stop him. Not just because kissing him is like sliding into a hot bath during a bad pain day, but because it feels like he needs this; like the feeling of my lips on his are grounding him somehow. So I let go of any thought and sink into him, letting him use me in any way he needs.
Eventually, he releases me with a long, tender kiss on the forehead. “We should probably turn off the water.”
“Yeah, I don’t have any energy left to wash my hair anyway.” I move to turn off the water but Blake catches my hand and pulls me down until my butt connects with his rock-hard thigh—a welcome perch after all this standing.
His fingers dig into my skull, massaging the skin before covering it with pomegranate shampoo. The sensation of his clever fingers in my hair is enough for a moan to leave my lips, making him chuckle.
“Is that enough to turn you on these days, Sunshine?” he says, the self-satisfaction clear in his voice. “I’m thinking the next time we shower together, I’ll make you sit just like this and edge yourself on my thigh until you’re a whimpering mess, and then I’ll take you nice and slow against the wall until you’re begging me to come like the good girl you are.”
