I dialed the phone, listening to it ring while pulling together the shit I needed to take with me. Luckily, I kept things organized.
The call connected, and my sister Fiona’s groggy voice grumbled as she said,“You better be dead, dying, or bleeding to wake me up at…holy mother of Christ, Danny, it’s not even six a.m. If this is about a hookup, I will kick your rear end.”
“It’s not, Fee.”
Fabric rustled.“Give me a second.”
Gone were the groggy words.
“Fiona, babe, get back in bed.”
“It’s Daniel, Joe. I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”
“Tell him I said hi and that you need your rest.”
More salt for the wounds that watching Walker and Foster Holt with their wives tore the scabs from. I didn’t want a bunch of kids, but I wanted a partner to share my life with. Who knew me the way Julie and Lillian knew their husbands. The way Joe knew Fiona.
The things I wanted to explore with Xander.
“Okay, I can talk. What’s up?”
“I can’t give you any details…”
“It’s happening.”
“All I can say is that I’ll be out of the country for the foreseeable future. No clue when I will be able to call.”
“Fuck. This is…it’s scary, Danny boy. Really fucking scary.”
“You’re gonna have so many Hail Marys and Our Fathers to say for that,” I joked.
“Don’t make fun. I’m seriously scared.”
“You should be. I am.” I took a deep breath. “But I do this work to keep the family safe. To keep the country safe. We failed. Horribly. I can’t let that happen again.”
“I love you, little brother. Take care of yourself.”
“You too. You have my email address. I expect pictures. I love you.”
She repeated the words again, and I hung up, pushing back from the desk and dropping my elbows to my knees. I chucked the hat and buried my hands in my hair.
“Was that your sister?”
I spun toward the voice, fighting to keep my face from softening at the sight of Xander standing in my office doorway.
“It was. Did you call your family?”
His face turned sad, but then he smiled. “No worries there. I don’t have any family.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Not on you.”
He fell silent after that, and being where we were kept me from offering the comfort I wanted to.
“Look, I…”
He shook his head and looked over his shoulder before shutting the door and flicking the lock. “I liked everything…”
